


Years. A Tale of Susie.

by deadmannewil



Category: Deltarune (Video Game)
Genre: (poorly touched upon) Religion, Adoption, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Bad Parenting, Bullying, Character progression, Child Abandonment, Child Abuse, Child Angst, Child Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Help, Hope, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, No Smut, Non-Canonical Violence, Past Abuse, Suicidal Thoughts, Swearing, Teen Angst, hopelessness, past bullying, short to long chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-21
Updated: 2019-09-21
Packaged: 2020-10-24 19:14:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 27,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20711129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deadmannewil/pseuds/deadmannewil
Summary: A tale of one dragon, who had a very, very rough life. A life nobody would wanted to have, a life not many would survive or deal with, a life which was trashy, really trashy.And yet, our dragon, Susie, made it to a great life. She got what she truly deserved, regardless of how mean she might've been at times.This is a tale, of how fate, destiny, and life treated the poor dragon. Best and worst moments. Reckless and thoughtful. Changes and coming back to what she once was.(This fanfic aims to be really emotional, and emotion-provoking. This fic is also, admittedly, really edgy, but even if so, I hope you like what I wrote.)





	1. Memory / I - "When I was seven, I fell down from heaven."

**Author's Note:**

> Remember, it's only fiction. Stuff can be exaggerated, or feel not as realistic as I would've wanted.
> 
> And, before we begin, I wanted to thank some people, who are amazing:  
DeadAlchemist00 - for the drawings, ideas, help with certain words, grammar, pushing me to do it, and just being awesome.  
PachiiMochii - for pushing me to do it, anticipating it, giving me ideas, helping a bit with certain words.  
YaBoiWeebOfComputer3 - for proofreading a bit of the fic, and supporting me since my DDLC days.  
LupertEverett - for being the first person that always cared for my work on the fandom and supporting me ever since.  
SS_Komu - lots of inspiration by her art, lots of nice events to motivate me to write more. Were it not for her, I don't know if I would be even writing this fic.  
Taffin, ValiantAMM, and a couple more people (you know who you are) who supported me through out the years and months.
> 
> Thank you all, a huge one, from the entirety of my cold heart.
> 
> Please, check these wonderful people out. They do things too. Most of them.
> 
> twitter.com/DeadAlchemister  
twitter.com/Mochii_Nostra  
twitter.com/EverettLupert  
twitter.com/SS_Komu  
twitter.com/Taffin_blur  
old.reddit.com/u/YaBoiWeebOfComputer3  
old.reddit.com/u/ValiantAMM  
Thank you all for sticking by. You all mean a lot to me. Were it not for you, I doubt I'd ever pick up writing.
> 
> You can find most of the drawings under this tweet here: https://twitter.com/mannewil_/status/1175399229872889856
> 
> Now, all of this aside, I sincerely hope you will enjoy this work of mine.
> 
> Have a good read.

Usual summer day in Ebott. Roads have cars, people are walking here and there, life is pulsating strong. 

Somewhere, it's been happy. Somebody had a birthday, a good hangover, a party…

Somewhere, it's been miserable. Somebody's parent died, somebody was abandoned, cheated on, killed, forgotten, ruined…

Somewhere, it's been normal, somebody was working, somebody was sleeping, somebody was just walking alone…

And somewhere, it's been uncertain.

The little purple dragon, a naive one for sure, not a dumb one by any means, who was named Susie, fit that category perfectly.

It was uncertain how life has been treating her. Sometimes, there were happier moments, having some time spent alone or a family person who appreciates her. And sometimes, there were terrible moments, when she had to deal with her mother's antics.

Susie, for a seven year old, wasn't very happy. She wouldn't get into fights, yet she wouldn't think to help random people. She wasn’t ill-minded, of course, she just never figured to do it, since well, nobody taught her that.

If one were to call her mean, they'd be wrong, since she’s kind. Yet, if one were to call her active, they'd also be mistaken, since she isn't.

She wants to try to be more approachable.  
She doesn't trust enough to be approachable.

She wants to have friends.  
Her mother, based on her own poisonous nature, says that friends are poison.

It's a big uncertainty. Strange, you'd say, wouldn't you?

Coming to kindergarten, she wouldn't be picked on, since she was much bigger than other children. After all, a dragon is a dragon, bigger, scarier, some would say prettier, some would say meaner. Though, for little clueless children, the size was a large factor of freakiness. Dragons aren’t a common race either. As such, nobody dared to pick on her and nobody wanted to invite her to any games either.

She was, practically, an outcast. And, at the age of seven, it's nothing anyone should be.

And it's not Susie's fault either. After all, she didn't choose to come to the city, or to the kindergarten. Her grandma taught her a lot of things before she even knew what a kindergarten was. She knew everything people tried to teach her, she had no problems solving anything that was thrown her way that requires attention and intelligence and she didn't mind drawing, even if it was alone.

To sum it up, Susie was a rather distant girl, not a dumb one, not a mean one.

When Susie had to head home, nobody awaited for her at kindergarten. No mom, no grandma.

With grandma, it's understandable why, she doesn't live close to Ebott after all.

With mother… It's complicated. Very complicated.

She doesn't really work, which means she has time to pick her up... Yet, she told Susie that she outgrew the need to be picked up from the kindergarten.

Susie, being the naive kid that she is, never knew why mother was so toxic to her. She thought it was okay, even if her grandma was different than her mother, very different and very nice.

Yet, if she asked why, she'd feel bad, because mother said, that it's not okay for a child to ask that of her mother.

Susie was never mean to her mother. Maybe not enthusiastic about being with her but never mean.

Yet, one day, something changed the dragon's perception of mother for the worse, too soon too quick.

On one, miserable night, Susie was sitting on a couch in the living room, really just minding her own business. There was a TV but she had no access to it, there also was no paper to draw on, she didn’t have a phone a tablet, she did have a clicky pen but when you click on it, it gets tiring after a while of doing it... A door opened and mother came home drunk. She had a bottle of cheap liquor in her hand, and she shouted for her daughter to come.

Susie, being the naive tender soul that she was, obviously obliged, only to have that bottle thrown next to her, getting the liquor stench around the room, as well as scaring the dragon to the point of freezing in place.

Mother came to her, took her by the collar, and pinned her against the old wall. Yellow eyes of a bigger dragon were glowing, and they felt threatening.

Susie could feel her own heartbeat, her mouth allowing the air from her body to exit. Now and now, now and now.

"Why do you exist? Why couldn't I get rid of you?" - her mother spoke, words tasting like the finest of venoms, drugging the child's consciousness.

Mother clenched her collar stronger, some of her claws inching into Susie's scales, scratching them.

"I could've had… A perfect, fun life! But you had… To. Ruin. EVERYTHING!" - The bigger one continued, eating her own words.

Mother seemed to have waited to have such an outburst at her own creation. Her own blood.

Susie, could only really look at the venomous eyes beyond her, could only really whimper and sniff, tears forming in her own, orange tinted eyes.

"I had a person I loved… But, guess what? You appeared, and YOU made him GO AWAY!" - The loser once again shouted, raising her left fist, seemingly about to hit the defenseless seven year old.

The younger dragon widened her eyes and, imagining the worst, tried to gulp, to reach something, to escape…

But, before she could imagine the hit arriving, all that happened was… Her being dropped.

"Go to your room, and don't you dare leave it until tomorrow."

The dragon quickly ran to her room and hid under the blanket. No lights on.

She cried to her pillow, eating mother's words like a rotten cake, yet swallowing it like a hard pill of truth.

It's not a night one will forget, and it's not words one would want to hear.

...And yet, these things happen. And they certainly happened. Was there any more good left in this world?

Susie thought so, that there still was.

But, for how long, would all of that last?

Even if you’re naive and optimistic, if this occurs a lot, it will be erased eventually.

Whatever heaven she had above her started to fade, as she fell away from the optimistic nature of it.


	2. Memory / II - "When I was eight, I tried to forget."

Say whatever you want about Ebott, one thing you can’t decline is that people there for the most part are nice. Sure, there are bad people here and there but for the most part it’s a rather fine place. 

Susie turned eight, and with her being eight, came a new spree of the soul punching.

Since she was big and was still going to the kindergarten, she was somebody people were scared of, she didn’t have friends, nor did she have any enemies.

However, she did still have the caretakers in the kindergarten, they were nice to her, they read her bedtime stories, listened to her, helped her with artistic endeavours, and more.

When she drew, she drew well. She had nice colours, nice lines, and it looked relatively clean. People wouldn’t approach her or admit that her art was fine and good. People were jealous of her art capabilities. Some people tried to copy her art, which wasn’t very working well. Some people behind her back, would call her a baby, since she really did only talk to the caretakers.

One day, a new kid came. It was a weird kid, nobody Susie saw before. It was some sort of a green/yellow-sweater wearing kid, who had brown hair, yellow-ish skin, and their eyes couldn’t be seen. They didn’t have fur, nor scales, they looked to be pretty thin, seemed a bit malnourished and just looked weird, off-puttingly so.

Susie was intrigued by the new kid, when they first came to the place, nobody really knew what to think of them. It’s like an entirely different species from the other world came there.

When they were called by name, it was something along the lines of “Kris”, and when they were asked to say hi, they tried to say something and stuttered a lot. Some kids laughed, making Kris visibly upset, some kids nervously smiled, some were quite interested in the kid…

Susie however, saw something familiar in the kid. She saw the same nervousness and shyness that she had, she figured this kid wasn’t a people-person either.

When the greeting phase came to be, Kris went somewhere far from everyone, to a corner. Then, they sat there, on the floor, alone.

Kids looked at them, but nobody really wanted to approach them, some said something about how this is not really friendly, some expressed surprise, others were silent. Some time went by, people started going to do whatever, nobody came to Kris…

And so, Susie decided to do it.

Coming to the kid, she noticed that they were shivering, it wasn’t anything big, but it was noticeable at a closer distance.

“Hey…” - Susie said. 

Kris immediately stopped shivering, and slowly looked behind their shoulder, seeing the dragon.

In response, Kris waved their hand to Susie.

“Um… I don’t mean to ask… But I’m curious… Are you a boy, or a girl?”

In response, Kris immediately raised one finger.

“Boy?” - Kris nodded.

“Understood.” - Kris nodded once again.

“What… Species are you? I’ve never seen anyone like you before…”

Kris at that moment started shivering again, with heavy breaths coming and going.

“O-oh, u-um, I’m sorry!”

Kris continued shivering, nodding his head. When he stopped, he simply stated: - “H-Human.”

Susie took a note to ask her grandma about humans, one day.

“I got it… Do you want to play something?”

Kris nodded.

\---

When Susie came home from the kindergarten, in fact, one of the best days she had in there, she was greeted by her mother.

“I hear you got a human kid in the kindergarten. Answer me.” - Mother said, no hellos, kisses or hugs.

“Y-yeah… Hi, mom… We got a human kid…” - Susie responded.

Mother came up close, and looked at her daughter sternly, before saying: “Don’t ever talk to that piece of filth. They’re all terrible scum.” - Mother muttered sternly .

“Why?” - Came the question from the daughter.

“I won’t explain it. They’re just terrible. The less you talk to those bleeders, the better.” - Mother answered.

“Bleeders?” - The little one questioned.

“Yes. That’s a better name for those morons.” - Mother again, replied.

“Why bleeders?” - Susie asked, dumbfounded by the word.

“Because they bleed. We dust, they bleed. They’re dumb.” - Mother replied, with disgust in her voice.

“Why do they bleed?” - Susie asked, curious.

“Stop asking me questions. Don’t ever talk to them. If I catch word that you’re talking to them, you’ll be punished.” - Mother said, stepping away. - “I won’t let my daughter talk to those fuckers.”

And Susie was left alone, with a lot of questions unanswered.

\---

The next day, Susie avoided Kris, making Kris rather upset about it.

...Kris’ time in the kindergarten wouldn’t last, he was taken away by his parents after a week of being there.

Where he went next, nobody knows. One thing for sure…

His parents didn’t seem like very nice people.

\---


	3. Memory / III - "When I was nine, I wished to be fine."

Nine years of life.

Some kid would probably be happy to know that they’ve been alive for nine years. Nine whole years.

Know what else lives for nine years? Right, other children that live for nine years.

Was Susie happy to live for nine years? It’s more of a yes than a no, if she were to be truthful.

Living seemed like a simple drag. Not much to do, not much to see… Not many people to talk to.

Mom wasn’t an option. She didn’t have friends, since she was afraid of mother getting upset. What if humans came in different kinds? What if one human would look very different from the other? How could Susie know? She tried her hardest to find out more about humans but every opportunity she had was thrown out the window with dismissal.

Responses like: “You’re too young to understand.” or “It doesn't matter anymore.” are the phrases etched into her memory.

And, it does not matter if she wanted to know it or not. Nobody would tell her, whether she liked it or not.

And if you are persistent, you can be threatened. Susie knew better than making her mother angry.

\---

With winter holidays coming closer, Susie had a thing to look forward to.

She’d be visiting grandma! She was so damn excited for it. To see the one person who truly cares about her, to maybe get some answers, know more and just have fun…

Even if it’d be a limited time, it’s still something to look forward to. And, apparently, she was old enough to go to grandma by herself!

That’s right! She’d take a ticket to a train, and ride there by herself! She’d see her grandmother!

She’d see her grandmother!

\---

Winter is a nice time of year. Even if it’s chilly, it’s so fun outside.

Especially when you’re excited for something, and that something is so-o-o-o-o close to your reach…

Susie was standing at a train station. Ticket in hand, she just waited for the right train. A backpack filled with some munchies, a letter from mom to grandma and some personal items, were quite enough.

To a lot of nine year olds, the weight in the backpack would’ve been too much to carry but it’s not much for a dragon.

Nine, eight, seven… Such a weight would probably be too much for a six year old but hardly a nine year old.

And Susie, of course, didn’t have trouble with it.

Just gotta get on the train, and set off to a different, smaller town.

\---

A few days have passed since Susie was at her granny. It was very fun! Her grandma was an excellent cook, and made sure to teach Susie some basics of cooking.

Now Susie knows how to use the oven, how to fry eggs, how to bake an apple pie, how to boil some pasta… These basics were fun to learn, and Susie loved every second of learning.

It was interesting, after all! It’s not something boring she wouldn’t be able to use, these are practical skills, interesting and useful!

And with the elder dragon’s company, it was never not fun.

And now, awaiting for her first apple pie to be baked, Susie remembered some questions she wanted to ask her grandma. After all, she was busy with other things before!

“Grandma… Why does mom not like humans?” - She asked, her voice rather curious and not quite understanding.

“Oh… What gave you that idea, little one?”

“We had a human kid come to kindergarten, and… Well, when I tried to talk to him, since it kinda felt… Like we were… Similar, in some ways… My mom knew about it, and was very mean about them… Why?”

“Oh… oh Eve, why must you still have the pointless grudge..? Well, little one, I can’t tell you the reason as to why she isn’t fond of humans… But, I can tell you a bit of history about the humans.”

“Sure!”

“Well then… Sit down, Susie. Let’s put the oven on the timer, and let’s move next to the fireplace.”

\---

“Humans are a different, very different kind of people. They aren’t monsters, and no monsters are humans. When it’s something like this, it’s called a race. That means, humans are a different race from monsters!” - Grandma said, in a cheerful voice.

Susie just nodded in response.

“Because of that, we must also understand what monsters and humans are… Monsters are made of magic, which would take too long to explain, to make it basic: we exist because we want to exist, and because the universe keeps us existing… Humans, on the other hand, aren’t tied to the universe, and aren’t tied to magic… They’re separate from magic, they’re tied together by biology… Atoms, blood, skin, flesh, skeleton, nerves… It’s a lot, a whole lot that makes humans - humans.”

Humans… Biology… Not magic…

Susie took note of these three conditions, and kept them as an organized piece of memory in her brain.

Again, she nodded in response, and also hummed.

“Humans are much more complicated in nature and they have a lot, lot more various things to their wellbeing, than we have… They’re more prone to emotional backfires, more prone to oddities, they’re very strong if they want to be… But, they don’t live as long as monsters do.”

“Why don’t they?” - The little one asked, curious about it.

Grandma put a finger to her chin, thinking about it for a minute, before coming up with a conclusion: “Well, human bodies get older much faster, because again, they’re not made of magic as we are. Biology works that way, you can think of it as their vessels being tired out.”

Susie blinked twice, looked somewhere else… And had an urge, to ask something.

She cleared her throat, and asked: “Is there no way for human… Consciousness, be moved to a different one?”

“Not that there would be any now… Let me finish the story, and you’ll understand why.”

Susie, looked at her grandma, mumbled something that couldn’t be heard, and said: “Sorry…”

“It’s alright, kiddo… Ahem! Now, the most important outcome of this, since monsters and humans are so different, and a lot of monsters are different from other monsters… At times, some monsters, just in their nature, can be harmful to humans. And, with some of these occurrences, something that humans would call “stress” increases for them.

And, they had that stress increased over and over, tension increased inside of their living circle, and they made war, to fight for humankind, and slay the monsters…

Fortunately or unfortunately, they failed… Now, all the remaining humans are very hard to find, which means that, you coming across a human is… Very, very lucky.

Now, to answer basically, why your mother doesn’t like humans, is because of the war.”

“But, grandma, if humans started a war, shouldn’t they be disliked?”

“It’s not that simple, dear. 

Humans are… Different. They think differently, behave differently and many habits they have, are different from one to the other. Humans are not only very different from monsters, but humans are also different from one another. One human can be very kind, the other can be not so bright, and the third one could be a hateful, hateful poor soul…

And, because of the third kind, humans who didn’t want to fight, were forced to start a war…

And because of that, monsters have a tradition, if they see a human, they’ll try to make their life much better. Give them an education, a shelter, a job, very needed care… Because we’re sorry for what we did, nobody wanted this… Not even a lot of humans.”

“But, if they didn’t want that… Why didn’t they fight back? And, why did they lose?”

“Well, young one… While humans are stronger than many, many monsters, they’re also very equal to one another… But some people are very manipulative. They’ve made it so that most humans fought with them, those who disagreed, well, they were waved goodbye and never seen again.

But, one thing I forgot to say, is that humans were… A rather small group. Any shattering in their place, would mean big, big losses in power… And those happened a lot.”

“That’s horrible!”

“It is, Susie, it is terrible and very unfortunate… And I’m honestly really glad you can understand that.”

\---

Susie sat, in her grandmother’s lap, and processed the information that she got. There was much more to humanity than she thought there was and… She was also glad that she wasn’t mad on humans.

“Thank you, granny! I know a lot now..!” - The young one cheered, leaning on her grandma’s body.

Granny just chuckled, and pat little Susie on the head, gently moving her hand on top of hers. - “You’re welcome dear… Oh! Do you hear that? Your apple pie must be ready. Come! Let’s have some!”

Both dragons, small one and the elder one, got up, and proceeded to the kitchen.

How great it is to have a normal life… Is it not? A loving family, a lot of fun learning, and stuff explained, so you would know.

A shame… That it’s not something that lasts.

\---

When Susie left her Grandma, came home, she knew she had to wait a whole year to see her grandma again.

Though, it meant she needed to just spend some more time in kindergarten, and then there would be school…

...Susie started losing interest in what she did in kindergarten. Drawing didn’t make much sense when you drew a lot of things, and drawing for yourself isn’t as fun as it once was…

Singing or playing musical instruments became a drag too, and Susie could never focus…

And being alone, felt like torture.

...Maybe school would bring some life into something that can be called lifeless.

One could hope;  
And the dragon held onto those hopes.


	4. Memory / IV - "When I was ten, fine I've not been."

Ten.

Some kids would have a good birthday celebration. A big one.

Ten.

It’s the first 10 years of life. A worthy thing to celebrate.

Ten.

Ten.

Ten.

Ten, sounds close to pain.

Ten, and stop would it when?

Ten, would there ever be a zen?

Ten; Ten; Ten.

On her mind, it’s all a ten. Who have thought of such a plan?

And when would it be simple again?

A day without a heaven, a day without a single person of company.

…

Birthdays suck.

\---

Birthday went by as usual... Nothing new, nothing old. Same old, lonely, tired and annoyed.

School starts soon, maybe that’ll do something cool. Maybe it won’t… 

Susie wants to have friends, she’s desperate for them, even.

...Would friends want her? - That’d be a thought visiting her head a lot, in the days of waiting.

Life was a drag, too. Who knew it would get so much worse after just a year?

Look at it. Look at her.

Laying on her hard, hard bed. Alone, staring at her only friend - the ceiling.

Mother became more violent too. More restrictive, especially during the evenings.

Sounds that Susie would hear at evenings, would make her uncomfortable… Yet, she can’t do anything to stop it.

She’s not the one who’s “commanding the place”, after all. Not the one who “pays the rent” too.

She’s just a “silly kid” who “knows nothing” of “true grief”. All the “fake facade” she has is just a picture in her “own mind”.

Staring, hearing, turning on the bed to the left side, or the right side, the front, the back… Can’t do much.

There seems to be shouting, though Susie knows that it’s nothing. It’s not the first night she spends here…

Oh, Angel, how she hated this place.

She thought about praying. There must be a god, right? A god who punishes bad people and takes care of the good people. That god, as she knew, was called “The Angel”.

She had to be good. Had to keep on hoping, it’d get better eventually.

It definitely would.

The faith she had, not something to be measured right away.

The faith she had…

\---

Mom was brutal at times. At times she’d scream Susie’s ears out. At others she made it look like Susie would be hit. At some other times, Mom looked awfully pathetic.

...Yet, Susie can’t do anything about it. Pathetic or not, she’s still family, right?

Isn’t family… Important?

Even if it’s strained and bad… Family is… Blood, right? Family is good.

Family is… Important. Yes, it is.

...Just need to believe in the good things… They’ll come.

She’s sure that mother’s just being a bit angry… She doesn’t mean the bad things she says.

She couldn’t.

\---

First week of school, and Susie already realized she’d be the odd one out.

All the other monsters were small, were more cheerful, talked about how many good things they had and traded various foods, drew on the paper with utensils Susie never seen before…

The voices she heard were pressuring. On her mind, on her physique…

She liked maths, it was fun and easy. She hoped if she aced it, people might ask her to help them…

She was great at P.E. was a good player, wasn’t picked last but obviously was picked just because of performance. When she would stay alone, nobody would cheer for her. 

It’s like, nobody even noticed her or cared about her.

It was a hard pill to swallow. Was reality really this… Cruel?

Would she really have to be alone… For the entirety of school?

\---

Months passed…

Roughly 231 teardrops fell…

Fallen at home, at the school toilet, outside… Another tear… Yet they kept on falling, again and again.

233, 234, 235…

236, 237, 238, 239…

240! 241, 242, 243, 244, 245, 246…

Drip-drip-drip.

“Sniff.” - Would be the sounds to come from the dragon’s snout.

Sometimes, at home, those tears would mix in with a different substance.

Thankfully, it was rare… But it was something unforgivable.

Something even the everloving Angel could’ve never predicted or allowed. Where’s that Angel, when he’s so needed?

...Like tears and the paler liquid, grades dropped too, alongside with any wishes to be a good student.

\---

Another day, another school day passes, she sleeps.

Different day, another school day, shouting session, dry crying - relaxation - sleeping.

The same cycle, keeping on going, with no rhythm, with no end. With no grandma to make her relaxed, no friend to give a shoulder to cry on, no distraction to escape the darkness.

Once again, in the dark, sleeping, waking up, breakfast.

Another day, another school day passes, she sleeps.

Another day. Another school day. Another sleeping session.

Shouting.

Noise.

No escape.

…”I’m scared.” - Said the young dragon to her pillow.

\---

Year comes to the end. Winter now seemed like more of a year to relate to.

Depressingly cold weather, snowstorm surrounding everything, lights enabled everywhere, nights coming fast…

Winter is… Relaxing.  
Winter is… Good.  
Winter is calm.

She liked winter. Winter was more like her. Winter felt close. Close to home.

Holidays started. Susie began walking.

She did her homework already. She didn’t need to do any more. She would rather walk.

In the snow, in the cold, when it’s darker than it should be.

...Yes, that’s more like it. Chilling.

Colder than her blood.

Making her feel cold…

It’s good. Winter is good. She won’t get sick.

\---

The next day…

She got sick. 

What was the result of her getting sick? Walking outside with no warm clothes.

Thankfully, mom wasn’t harsh. Mom bought some new, warmer clothes. She also bought some medicine for Susie to take.

She still was not allowed to leave her room. Yet, at least she got some good treatment for once.

Pills, a cup of hot tea, laying down, shivering… While it sucked, it was better than being sore and freezing even under three blankets.

So, she’d take it. Better than the worst. Lesser of two evils. While still annoying, and she still loathed being home, she’d rather not do anything stupid.

She was smart. Not reckless.

Not reckless. Smart.

\---

Year was ending. Susie passed the grade flawlessly. She knows a bit more about things, and while she doesn’t want to focus a lot on studies, she didn’t say it wasn’t interesting to her.

It’s so nice to get a reward of a good grade.

Mom allowed her to even visit her grandmother! That’s nice, is it not?

She would go there on her birthday. It’d be so much better than being here, after all…

Nothing would stop her… Right?

The Angel wouldn’t allow her wishes to be stomped… Would he?

...He wouldn’t.


	5. Realization / I - "When I was eleven, unfair was even."

It’s tiring to always start with age… And yet... Eleventh year of being alive is just another year. Another year, without much going on.   
  
It’s hollow. Hollow! It’s soon to be her birthday, soon after there’ll come a second grade and then, it’s all over again.   
  
No friends, no fun… Sometimes sickness, sometimes sadness.   
  
But, no fun.   
  
Can you call living like this, actually living? She wasn’t even eleven, yet she was very upset about what was going on.   
  
Loneliness ate at her. It really did, and it showed. She became much more distant, didn’t care about going out of her room, didn’t want to walk, didn’t want to do anything.   
  
With classes ended, all she did was lay on her bed, make something to eat when mom’s not home, maybe watch a news channel or two, maybe try to sketch something (only to then rip it out and tear it apart) - whatever she did, wasn’t fun.   
  
It wasn’t healthy, living like this, and she knew. She felt it. She wasn’t eating much, so her weight only decreased, and a dragon needs proper meals to grow up to be a tall and strong one.   
  
Does she do that? No. Not really, while she does know how to cook, she isn’t quite there yet to come to a stove and be confident in it… Not to mention, she’s still not tall enough. All she does is making sandwiches on a coffee table, there isn’t much else she could do.

**  
** Was her mother making her food? Sometimes, yes. A soup, some boiled pasta, rarely some meat.   
  
That happened rarely though. Very, very rarely.   
  
Susie sighed, and looked outside her window.   
  
It was snowing like hell… Yet, that relatability with winter, while became stronger, wasn’t something to make her feel better about her situation.   
  
If only it would… All it did was sprinkle salt upon her wounds.   
  
...Another sigh. If she didn’t have her eyes dried out, she’d cry, she still would have it in her… Yet, mother made it clear, that crying is for weaklings, if she cried, she wouldn’t be a dragon.   
  
...Deep down, Susie knew, mother didn’t tell the truth.   
  
But why does that feel like truth?   
  
\---   
  
Lies.   
  
Lies were something that was annoying.   
  
Lies were something that made existence harder.   
  
...Why did her mother lie? Why did she think that lying would be good?   
  
She lied about many things. But the worst thing, is the promise for Susie to go to grandma for her birthday.   
  
She couldn’t go.   
  
She couldn’t! Why? Why must’ve life been so cruel?   
  
Why didn’t the Angel assist? Why didn’t it work out?   
  
…   
  
That night, Susie cried the most.   
  
Even with dry eyes, tears managed to show up.   
  
...Someone might’ve heard something fragile being broken.   
  
...Broken. Broken beyond repair.   
  
\---   
  
The second grade wasn’t hard at all. It’s been really easy. Easy to the point of Susie not caring about it.   
  
Chalk was nice to hold and write with. She explained stuff at times, at others she just wrote.   
  
Some days she felt like talking, other days she didn’t.   
  
Why bother talking if everything can go wrong?   
  
...Sucks. Sucks so much. School is easy, yet so dumb.   
  
It’s supposed to help you socialize, but does it really? Susie found it hard to believe… It can’t be that she’s the one who has the problem! No, it’s just that schools aren’t effective…   
  
...Right? They’re not, are they?   
  
...Yet, going through the classes of faith and belief, Susie found that faith didn’t smile upon her.   
  
Even if it should’ve smiled upon her a lot. It just does not.   
  
\---   
  


Susie came out of her room, to see her mother drunk.   
  
“Mom… Are you okay?” - The concerned dragon asked.   
  
The older dragon opened her eyes, looked at the smaller soul and roared. Before standing up, she threw her bottle at the child, thankfully missing.   
  
Having stood up, she came closer to Susie, and would almost take her by the collar, but didn’t. - “Am *I* okay? No, I’m not. Do you think I want to talk to you?”   
  
The dragon backed away, slowly and whispered: “Mom… Please.”   
  
The older one laughed, a laugh of disappointment it was. She only came closer to the daughter and now did hold her in the air, by the collar. - “‘Mom, please?’ Come on, freak. You’re not a child. Stop this pettiness.”   
  
Susie didn’t know what she could do. Squirming would be pointless, so she just didn’t move and was frozen in the air. She whispered: “I’m sorry...”   
  
A smirk from her mother came, with a few scoffs. - “You’re sorry? Well, you were born, that’s not exactly being ‘sorry’, brat.”   
  
Another pack of sniffs came to Susie. Hearing mother’s berating shouldn’t make her sad, yet it does it so much… It hurts so much..!   
  
How could it be stopped!?   
  
“When you were born, my life just fucking went to hell. Now I’m stuck with you. You understand? I’m fucking stuck. I can’t do whatever I want, because you, an ignorant brat, needs to be taken care of..!” - Eve roared, clenching and unclenching her free fist, with the small one feeling like she’d be hit at any minute.   
  
Susie, desperately wanted it to stop. Maybe if she’d reassure her mother that she wouldn’t be a nuisance… That she’s quite responsible and can take care of herself..? She tried to speak up: - “Mom but… I’m already doing most--”   
  
She was immediately shaken, and was scared to the point of shutting her mouth. Mother only laughed again, and when she stopped the tortuous laugh, she spoke up instead: - “Most work? What, are you by yourself out of the sudden!? I disappear from the house, and what will you do? What food will you eat? How will you turn on a fucking stove? Huh? That’s right. You won’t be able to. You’re weak and small.”   
  
Susie was speechless. She can’t say anything. But, one word couldn’t help, but be spoken: “...Mom…”   
  
“Don’t ‘mom’ me, brat! You’re incredibly weak. You deserve *every* hardship that comes your way. And, you’ll be too weak to overcome them by yourself. Mark my fucking words!..” - Mom pointed at Susie one last time, before muttering: “Now, get the fuck out of my sight, and leave me alone.”   
  
That night, Susie couldn’t sleep. Crying didn’t help, faith didn’t too.   
  
What did she do so wrong..?

\---

Time never stops going.   
  
Sixth month of her second grade goes by fast.

  
Sitting in a class, it feels like she’s the only person there.   
  
All the noises to come from other students feel like white noise. She can’t see them normally, just silhouettes. Silhouettes without any details, only than their contour. Vibrant classroom, colourless people.   
  
<There will be an image at a later time. Anticipate it!>   
  
Tiring, creepy, freaky… Lonely.   
  
Why does it have to be this way?    
  
Susie doesn’t remember when she ever talked to somebody that’s not a teacher. By that, she means normal, adequate talking. Not just “hello” or “bye” or some sort of half-made help. No, normal conversations. Those were something she so desperately wanted…   
  
...Was. Was Susie just… A sinner? Did she hurt people?   
  
How would she hurt people though?   
  


...Tick-tock, went the clock.   
  
And Susie continued sitting, surrounded but alone.   
  
\---   
  
Holidays weren’t fun… But, the third holiday week, was different at least.   
  
She finally began walking again. First snow fell not that long ago, so she was happy that she felt some snow.

When there’s not a lot of snow, there’s still many people outside. Though to Susie, it shouldn’t be a surprise. Ebott is no small town, after all.   
  
Susie walked, snow crunching under her steps, she saw some people ahead…   
  
...What were they doing to that man? Were they… Hitting him? Why?   
  
Susie decided to hide somewhere, to not be seen by these people. She noticed a garbage container nearby, and quickly dashed behind it.   
  
She heard some of the footsteps coming closer to her… The younger one’s breathing increased, but she made sure to be silent.   
  
“--’s why we’re stronger, and that’s why you’re a dweeb, fucker!” - Somebody shouted.   
  
“I-I never implied y-you weren’t! Please jus-- Ow! S-stop!” - Somebody screeched in response…   
  
“You know? With your money I’d get a nice treat for myself. I mean, what would you do with it, buy a fucking book? What kinda nerd does that?” - The third voice said.   
  
“N-no! I need that money! I need pills for my-- Ow! Angel… Enough! Please-- Ugh-ahh!” - The attacked one wheezed out.   
  
“Nah. We need it more. However, we’ll be generous! Look at that!” - The first voice said, in a voice that sounded like it was excited.   
  
Susie peeked out for a little bit, to see that the bigger wolf-like monsters, - one gray, the other red - were making some-sort of a cotton-monster forced to look at a trash container, behind which was Susie.   
  
The third voice said, continuing the idea of the first voice: “Would you say that looks like your home?”    
  
“To me it looks like a great fucking place! Hey! Maybe you’ll find a hooker there? Wouldn’t that be a find?” - The other atrocity said.   
  
“N-no! Please… Just leave-- Unnf! *Huff* Leave me alo-- Aggh..!” - The poor one let out, taking yet another beating.   
  
“Nah. That’s it. Your choices don’t matter anymore, you soft-ass!” - “The grey wolf said.   
  
“Yeah, dumbass! Come on, Duke! On three, get him into the trash!” - The red one continued.   
  
“No! N-no! Aah..!” - The cotton monster wheezed, as he was risen to the air by the goons.   
  
“One…” - The red bully said.   
  
“Two…” - The gray one replied.

“No--Aaaaa!” - The victim tried to deny.   
  
*Crash!* was heard, and Susie felt the impact of the container, yet she remained.   
  
“And three!” - Both bullies said, before they laughed.

  
How they laughed! They laughed so much, like they were so proud of assaulting a weaker being!   
  
How disgusting - Susie thought. And it really was.   
  
“Alright, look at all this fuckin’ money. Let’s go hook up somebody, eh?” - The red meanie said.   
  
“Man, you and your hoes...” - The gray one said.   
  
“Shut the fuck up. Last time you spent the money, we woke up in a fucking alley without our fucking pants.” - Red one mused out.

  
“Yeah, yeah, alright, smartass. Just don’t go insecure about your dick again.” - Smirked the gray one.   
  
“Oh, fuck you.” - Muttered the red warhead, smacking his fellow idiot on the back.   
  
“Ha-ha-ha! That’s the spirit, Van. Alright, let’s move out before this pussy does somethin’.” - The grey one mused, smacking in response.   
  
“What would he do? It’s not like cops would give a fuck.” - The red one said, like it was a matter of fact.   
  
“True, but still, this guy’d stink, I’d rather get out clean.” - The gray one mused, making a gesture of waving something on with his hand.   
  
“Yeah, that’s fuckin’ true. This guy is a fucking loser tho.” - The red one replied.   
  
“No arguments.” - The grey one agreed.   
  
When the two goons went away, Susie went away from the trash container. She wanted to reach to the container and open it, and tried to…   
  
She saw a body there, unresponsive, with white fluid taking up some of the space in the trash container…   
  
...Was it dust?   
  
...No. No it can’t be!   
  
They… They commited a murder?   
  
...And they’re happy and joking about it?   
  
...This was so…   
  
So…   
  
SO… SO FUCKED!   
  
Susie was angry, annoyed, disappointed and sad…   
  
She rushed to her home… Turns out, outside wasn’t as fun as it is…   
  
…   
  
Where was the Angel? Why did he not stop them?   
  
...Was this person bad? Were those two people good?   
  
Was this… Okay, for the Angel to let happen?   
  
The little one continued sprinting, before slipping on some snow, and falling right on her snout.   
  
...How it hurt… How it hurt!   
  
She didn’t scream, but she did wheeze out.   
  
A person outside saw it, but instead of coming to her, turned away and went somewhere.   
  
...Did they not care?   
  
...But, did they have to?   
  
Susie held onto her snout, thankfully her teeth were all in place, and she didn’t bleed dust too…   
  
It just hurts… Hurts a lot.   
  
\---   
  
At home. There was only a bed.   
  
Laying down is good. Being outside isn’t good.   
  
That’s what her mother said. She didn’t want to help her about the impact on the ground, only said to “brace” herself.   
  
“It’s only one of your falls, many more will come. Don’t be naive.” - was something she said.   
  
...She was right. Susie was naive.   
  
It would get… Better though, right?


	6. Realization / II - "When I was twelve, there was no hope."

Hope… Such a good word, was it not?    
  
Yet… If that hope doesn’t mean anything, can you call it good? Can you call that to be true, can you call it to be worthy of anything?   
  
Words without meaning… Don’t they mean nothing?

Studying… Third year, and yet it was very boring.   
  
So boring and easy in fact, that she didn’t know what to even do anymore.

And also, it was the twelfth year. The year when Susie was realizing a lot of things.   
  
How faith never helped her. How faith never got anything good to her. How faith was only a tool that helped coping.   
  
It was a lie. A lie that worked, but still a lie.   
  
Angel didn’t exist. If he would, she would be treated normally… She would at least have a single friend.   
  
...And yet, was she? She wasn’t. What’s the point of praying then, if it’s that fruitless? Just to pray? Just to waste time?   
  
...So stupid. So dumb. So… Idiotic and… Annoying.   
  
She hated it.

  
\---

Happy corners turned out to not be so happy after all.   
  
She’s been here to there. Any escape from anything, didn’t help. She was always surrounded by some sort of hopelessness.   
  
Walking around in Ebott never felt the same. She paid closer attention to people, was always unsure of what would happen.   
  
...At times she even thought, if it would be better for her to be… Removed.   
  
That’d probably make her mother happy… Would it not?   
  
...Family is important. Loyalty, discretion… Respect… Words that would mean so much to some, meant a lot to the dragon too.   
  
Though, she never felt these words in action. She knew these words meant action, meant something good… That good never came, did it?   
  
She never knew what they really meant. Respect meant… Meant to… Be good and honest to each other… Right?   
  
Discretion was… What was it?   
  
...What was loyalty..? Being… Honest?   
  
She didn’t know. She didn’t know anything.   
  
…Laying on her bed, she sees it now.   
  
She knows nothing about friendship. Never knew. That’s why nobody wanted to be her friend.   
  
Nobody wanted to even try, because she didn’t.   
  
...She’s really, a horrible dragon. Her mom was… Right.   
  
She was right… She… She really was.   
  
...Why did it hurt so much to admit it?   
  
\---   
  
Another school year, again it was easy as all hell. Never was hard, never will be.   
  
Susie decided to stop being socially active. If she wasn’t wanted by anyone - so be it. She wouldn’t try. No more homework helping, no more.   
  
She’s by herself. She’ll become a strong dragon.   
  
...Yes, that’s what she’ll achieve. She’ll make her mom proud. She’ll be strong.   
  
...She’ll be strong.   
  
\---   
  
With what little money she saved up, she was able to afford a set of dumbells. She could lift a couple of kilograms without a problem, increasing it, however, made it a little difficult.   
  
Lifting it again and again proved to be helpful. She’s done so for two weeks, and she felt that there was progress. Looking at her arms, she saw something, that she believed was ‘muscles’, and while her arms hurt sometimes, she still did it through pain.   
  
“Strong dragons don’t care about pain. They care about the result.” - Was something she told herself every time.   
  
Lifting them, increasing the weight and lifting them again.    
  
Increase and lift, until it’s done. Increase and lift. Until. It’s. Done.   
  
Through pain, through being tired, through everything - she’d lift. Again, and again, until her arms became dysfunctional noodles.   
  
Again, and again… It’s a chore. While a chore, it was something she liked.   
  
She did it, hiding it from mom… She didn’t have to know, she had to see the result.   
  
She lifted, ran, punched a pillow at times… She made sure to be fit. Ate not that much, walked a lot, drank water… She did everything right, she thought.   
  
Like her granny told her. She would be fine if she kept doing it. That’s how her granny did it - and her granny was quite tough, even if she was very, very old, even by monster standards - and if she truly wanted to make anyone proud, it’d be her grandmother.   
  
She did push ups, squats, and would continue doing it.   
  
Studying of course, was also in due. She continued studying well.   
  
\---   
  
Since she started taking better care of herself, she noticed that she was getting a lot of looks in school, from various boys.   
  
She didn’t know what to think of it, so she avoided most of them, when they tried to talk to her.   
  
...Today however, was a different day.   
  
When she was ready to head home, she was stopped by a group of people from grades higher than hers. Two lizard looking monsters, one water elemental, two frogs.   
  
“Hey, so uh, you know you’ve been very rude this week, right?” - Somebody said.   
  
“Yeah. You are really uncool. Ignoring when people want to talk to you is really uncool.” - Somebody continued.   
  
“Yeah! You’re like… Full of yourself, or somethin’!” - Somebody finished.   
  
Susie stopped in her tracks, and didn’t know what she could say to them.   
  
“Yeah, so uh… We kinda wanna teach you a lesson? Not to uh… Ignore us?”    
  
“Yeah like… You’re rude. We wanna fix that.”   
  
Purple dragon tensed up.   
  
“Yeah, eggplant! Quit being quiet! We wanna know you!”   
  
“Eggplant?” - Came the response from the dragon.   
  
No. This was not the attention she wanted. She wanted to go, but was immediately grabbed by her hair as she was ready to move.   
  
“H-hey!” - She said, trying to squirm.   
  
“Quiet! We just wanna talk!” - The abuser said.   
  
“Let… Go!” - She said, loudly.   
  
“Nope! We gotta talk!” - Abuser said, insistent on his own.   
  
Susie tried to squirm out, but that didn’t work… She thought and… Kicked the person who held her in the chest, which made him retort.   
  
“Unff! *Cough-cough* Fuhh--Flip!” - The one who held her, fell to the ground, holding his chest, two people immediately rushed to that person.   
  
“Damn! Uh… Yo, that wasn’t very… Nice at all!”   
  
“I told him to let go!”   
  
“You don’t just kick a dude if he wants to talk”   
  
“I don’t think you just want to talk!”   
  
“Missy, don’t assume!”   
  
“Just let me go!” - She said, and sprinted off, easily losing the goons.   
  
…   
  
She came into her home area. She huffed and huffed, she was really tired from the faster running.   
  
She huffed and huffed, and stepping into her old house building, coming inside, waiting for the elevator to come, she thought about what happened.   
  
Was she just… Attempted to be bullied?   
  
...Why? What did she do?   
  
It’s not her fault that nobody wanted to talk to her. They were the one who were wrong!   
  
They never… Wanted her company… So, what changed then? Nothing did! Absolutely nothing did!   
  
Maybe she was a fair bit stronger… But, that didn’t mean anything! It shouldn’t!   
  
...Why were those people so… Persistent at doing something to her? They were older than her, by three or so years… Was… What was it?   
  
She blinked, and realized that the elevator arrived. Immediately, she came in, pressed the button that’d take her to her floor, and waited.   
  
…   
  
…   
  
… *Ding!*   
  
The doors opened, she came out, and came into the house.   
  
Listening for mother’s presence… Proved that she wasn’t home.   
  
She came to the kitchen, poured herself a glass of cold water, and gulped it all at once. Then, she refilled the glass, and gulped it all again.   
  
She breathed in and out, and went to her room.   
  
The tired dragon fell on her bed, and tucked herself in, with her arm on her forehead, she tried to sleep.   
  
\---   
  
Months passed since that incident. People stopped trying to talk to her. They practically avoided her… Everyone did.   
  
Except teachers, of course… But it was their job.   
  
Susie felt, if it was not the case, they’d avoid her too.   
  
Mom was disappearing from home more often too. She didn’t know what to think of it…   
  
At times she’d find her, laying on the couch, more tired than usual.   
  
At other times, she’d find her on a stool in the kitchen, asleep on a coffee table.   
  
...It’s so weird, but she was avoiding her. She knew if she’d wake her up, it’d only mean problems.   
  
Her mom was… Disgusting.   
  
...Susie didn’t mean to think that… But… Wasn’t it the truth..?   
  
It- It really was.   
  
...Goodness.   
  
\---   
  
She hasn’t heard from grandma in a while… She saved up some money again, and decided to check on her grandma.   
  
Taking a ticket to her town, walking to grandma’s house by herself, without consulting her mother would prove to be… Different.   
  
But, Susie didn’t care about that. She wanted to see her grandma.   
  
She wanted to feel that someone was happy about her… Anyone…   
  
Looking at the familiar house, she gulped twice, before coming in closer. She knocked on the wooden door, and when the door opened… She saw her, her granny.   
  
Granny opened the door slowly, and as she saw who was standing there, gasped in surprise. - “Goodness… Child, what are you doing here?”   
  
“H-hey grandma... “ - The little dragon said, smiling sheepishly.   
  
Grandma stood, dumbfounded. - “Come in, come in!… Jesus, what are these clothes you got..? It’s cold!” - She said, beckoning for the little one to come inside.   
  
“Um…” - Susie let out, confused.   
  
Grandma still beckoned, waiting for the child to come. - “Come in, come in… Jesus, you’re a cold-blooded monster! Why didn’t she… Dress you--” - She was interrupted by the younger one.   
  
Susie walked into the house and said: - “Grandma, I came here myself.”   
  
The older woman’s eyes widened. She didn’t know if she heard it correctly… Being old, after all, had its cons. - “...Wait, what did you say, young one?”   
  
The youth repeated: - “I came to you myself…”   
  
Grandma looked at her granddaughter, processing what she just said. - “...Without your mom’s permission, right..?”   
  
Susie felt a little hint of guilt to her. She didn’t know how to respond to it… Would she disappoint her granny? She didn’t want to… But, she’d rather be truthful. - “...Yes.”   
  
Grandma just closed the door, and took her glasses off. - “Oh, Susie…” - She said.   
  
The dragon tensed up… She didn’t know what to say, do or feel… She didn’t want to disappoint anybody..!

“Please don’t be mad… I-I just… Missed you.” - She said, hopeful...   
  
Grandmother looked at the granddaughter. She looked at her long, but soft. She coughed up a bit, before finally speaking.

“...Goodness. I-I can’t be mad at you, dear… You’re right… Your mother didn’t allow you to see me for… A long time. It’s… It’s actually good to see you.”   
  
“I… I missed you so much…” - Susie said, coming to her grandmother for a hug.   
  
Grandma took her into the hug, gently patting the young one’s head. - “I missed you too. Come now...”

So, they went to the fireplace, to that one big chair, in which Susie’s grandmother would sit, and Susie would sit in her legs.   
  
...Now though, Susie was a little too big for that to be possible, so, Susie sat in another, simpler chair, but close to her grandma, practically leaning onto her.   
  
Grandma noticed that the child grew… And grew a lot. She couldn’t help but exclaim: - “My… Susie, you really did grow, huh?”   
  
Susie, nodding, said: “Yes… I followed your advice. Bought some dumbbells, weights, and did exercises…”   
  
Grandma gasped, not knowing how to take the information she just got… She felt proud, proud to see her granddaughter feeling comfortable with being strong. - “Oh… How you’re making me proud. You’ve done so… Well!”   
  
“T-Thank you.” - Susie said.   
  
…   
  
Silence came. The youth with the elder sat together, hearing the cracking of the fire.   
  
“Susie, please answer honestly… Have you been well?” - Grandma decided to ask.   
  
Susie tensed up inside, but acted to be okay. - “...Huh?” - Was the only sound that escaped her.   
  
Grandma sighed, looked at the fireplace, then looked at the smaller one. - “It’s just… When I look at you, you seem to be… Troubled. Troubled with something.”   
  
Susie, gulped and spoke: - “Oh, grandma… It’s really nothing.”   
  
“Oh, come on now dear, you know you can tell me anything.” - Grandma said, insisting on her words.   
  
“...No, grandma, I’m sorry…” - Susie said, not knowing what she’d say and if she should.   
  
…   
  
Some more silence came, it even absorbed the cracking fire. Not a single sound was heard.   
  
…   
  
But eventually, it was interrupted again.   
  
Grandma spoke again. Realized that, Susie might not have been comfortable about talking just yet... - “...Well, it’s… Okay, dear. It’s okay… How about we… Continue those cooking lessons together?”   
  
The dragon, beamed, like she was a young kid again, and exclaimed her great interest in one, simple word: - “Yes!”   
  
Grandma chuckled and murmured: - “That’s the spirit, young one! Come on… Let’s make something-- Ohhh..!”   
  
Grandma held the spot where her soul would be, and crouched down, leaning on the chair.   
  
Susie, with great panic in her eyes, voice, and body language, rushed to her granny, not knowing how to proceed.   
  
“Grandma!?” - She exclaimed.   
  
Grandma freaked out, but reassured Susie: - “It’s alright dear!.. Just… Getting old. Don’t worry about me! I’ll be okay.”

“...I-If you say so.” - The young one exclaimed.   
  
Grandma wheezed, and breathed, and when she could breathe normally, stood up, and didn’t bend anymore.

“Alright now… Let’s go make something, for real this time!” - She said, her voice cheerful again.   
  
“O-okay!” - Susie said, trying to imitate that voice.   
  
She succeeded.   
  
\---

Sweet pies were a steal. Tasty, tasty berries, filling the insides of the pie.   
  
With the filling baked in the oven, becoming soft to bite. Not to mention the berries would be crushed to jam, to become filling.   
  
Susie loved the pie. It was tasty, it was warm, it was soft and in general - nice.   
  
Grandma made sure to let Susie crush the berries, as well as made sure Susie was doing a lot of work about the pie too.   
  
Susie learned how to beat up the dough, for it to be softer, how to properly spread it and how to turn on the oven and how to operate it.   
  
Maybe she would be able to make something cool with the sandwiches, using the oven… Crispy sandwiches really sounded nice.   
  
But, that wasn’t everything grandma taught her. She taught her how to operate with a fork and a knife, told her about the etiquette if you’re sat at the table, how to effectively wash up dishes…   
  
In the middle of their dinner, when Susie was finishing up her pie, grandma stood up out of her chair.   
  
Susie thought it was something important, so she stopped eating and looked at her grandma.   
  
“Oh, don’t mind me, little one. I’ll come back soon! I gotta get something, for now please, eat the pie, drink the tea.” - The elder one assured the child.   
  
The child nodded, and simply answered: - “Okay, granny!”   
  
Grandma went away, somewhere to the living room. Susie still sat in front of the table and ate dinner, knowing this good food wouldn’t last. She drank her hot honey tea, slowly, yet surely. Munched on the raspberry pie, and didn’t forget to clean her snout with the napkin.   
  
“Susie, dear, look at this!” - she heard her grandmother's call.   
  
Susie looked at… Something that looked like clothes. And they were clothes indeed! Jeans and a purple jacket. They looked worn, yet they looked really clean too. They also looked very, very big.   
  
“I’ve figured you’d use something… These are the clothes I used to wear myself, back when I was younger. They’re very durable, very comfortable, and I’d say their style still holds up today, don’t you think?” - Grandma asked, smiling nervously, with Susie not catching on the nervosity.

Susie felt her fork drop on the plate, carefully jumped from her chair and quickly went to granny.   
  
“Grandma, they look… So cool! But… They look so big.” - She said, exclaiming the worry about the size of the clothes.   
  
“Well, Susie, you’ll be able to wear them in… Maybe three years. They’d still be pretty big, but… They’d still be comfortable. Believe me, I’d know!” - Her granny reassured. - “They won’t get down easily, trust me. I’ve done all sorts of wicked things when I was a kid, these clothes have seen a lot!”   
  
Susie took the clothes, feeling them… They felt old but somehow, they felt reliable. - “Granny, thank you… I’ll put them in my backpack, right?”   
  
“Well, yeah, but…” - The wiser dragon exclaimed, giving advice. - ”It’d be best for you to wear the jacket when you’d be leaving. It’s cold outside, dear.”   
  
Susie just held the clothes, which obstructed her vision. - “Alright.”   
  
“Good… Well, did you finish eating?” - Grandma asked.   
  
“Yes, thank you.” - Susie said, smiling with a toothy grin.   
  
“You’re welcome.” - Grandma said, smiling at the granddaughter of hers.   
  


Susie, not so long after the smile, yawned.

  
She felt sleepy, so, she said: - “...Grandma, I’m *yawn* tired…”   
  
“Ahh… Little one, you should sleep. I’m sure it was a long day for you. Just sleep on the couch! It’s comfy, I’ll bring you the clean bedsheets.” - The bigger dragon said, going out to a yet another room.   
  
“Thanks!” - Susie said, and placed the gifted clothes at a chair nearby the couch.   
  
\---   
  


Susie woke up from some voice, coming not far from her.

“...! …!? ….. ……? ..!”   
  
“No, Eve. You can’t be serious right now.” - Grandma said, in a stern voice.   
  
...Was she talking with her mother?   
  
“...!? …! …! …!?”   
  
“What do you mean? Come on, she’s but a youth. It doesn’t harm her to be with me.” - Grandma said, with a voice sounding like it was pleading.   
  
“...! …! …!?”   
  
Grandma suddenly became angry. In an angry voice, she retorted: - “Stop being foolish. She’s had fun, okay? Don’t you--”   
  
“!!! …! …! …! …..!”   
  
A raspy gasp was heard. - “What did you just say? You can’t say that!”   
  
“...! …..! …..? …!?”   
  
A sight was heard. - “...Alright.”   
  
“...! ….. …! …..!”   
  
Grandma, in a defeated voice, said: - “Will do. You’re cruel.”   
  
“...!!! …..! …..? …..!!!”   
  
Grandmother continued: - “*Sigh* Just… Don’t go too far, okay?”   
  
“... ….. …..!”

  
Susie heard how a phone was hung out. Some sort of a sniffing sound came, and footsteps quickly went away from Susie’s area of listening.   
  
...What was going on?   
  
\---

She was home. Grandma couldn’t let her stay, since Susie’s mom apparently called her granny, and said for Susie to go home.   
  
After a slap on the cheek, a round of screaming, she was eventually dismissed.   
  
Hearing the words about how she made her mother feel betrayed, certainly didn’t sound true.   
  
They sounded like…   
  
Like… Like bullshit.


	7. Realization / III - "When I was thirteen, there was no heaven."

I can’t take it... - Those were the thoughts that came to Susie’s mind.  
  
Fourth grade meant… Trouble. Lots and lots of trouble.

The bullies she upset in the third grade, made a come back, and they made sure to torture Susie a lot. They’d take her lunch away, would trip her, would hide her backpack, would at times start fights…   
  
At first, in the first month, it wasn’t good for her. She’d be constantly taking a beating. Yet, a month later, and she was great at fighting. She dodged the attacks flawlessly, fought back, and after a week or two, she wasn’t messed with any longer.   
  
Admittedly, Susie liked it. She liked feeling powerful, liked beating up the bad guys.   
  
Some viewed her as a hero, a dark hero, since she never really helped anyone.   
  
But she was the only person in class that was giving the bullies a well-earned kicked in the ass.   
  
The fourth grade wasn’t hard, oh no, it wasn’t. Simple, that’s what it was. Even with a few new subjects that came, she still didn’t have any trouble solving them.

But, being in school, doing the same thing she’s done for four years, that’s something she didn’t want to do.

\---  
  
What would it be that Susie would see home?   
  
A drunk mother? A mess in the house? No food in the fridge?   
  
She didn’t know. What she did know, is that she finally got a phone. A cell phone, with cute little buttons.   
  
Other, cooler phones with a screen were expensive, and Susie didn’t mind the buttons.   
  
She could always feel them, press them… She liked it more, it felt more reliable. Susie also loved playing a game called “Gravity Undefined”, which while was frustrating, was fun to play. She was quite good at it too.   
  
It felt like she could spend quite a bit of time on the phone now. It’s better than staring at the ceiling or watching boring shows on the television.

She didn’t forget about her dumbbells though. It was something to lift, and she could lift eighteen kilograms easily, with one hand now. She has gotten much stronger, and will continue to grow.  
  
She just stayed at home, walked at times… Missed her grandma.   
  
She should visit her next year. It’ll be good!   
  
\---   
  
The fourth grade is still easy, even if 3 months have passed. Not much is going on in Susie’s life.   
  
Like this year was just designed to be sad and uneventful.   
  
She even thought about going on the streets, and purposely seeking bad stuff around… But decided not to.   
  
Who knows who walks out there? Monsters aren’t without a problem, and she was always annoyed at that.   
  
She so wanted for people to be together and nice… But, her life was proving her that it was impossible. First she sees a death, then she gets abused herself by some bullies, then she fights these bullies, then she would hear her mother being mean…   
  
So god-damned stupid and annoying… She felt so powerless about it.   
  
...She wants action, but she knows something may be even worse than it already is. She just knew. It wasn’t a feeling or anything. It was facts. Facts.   
  
Sometimes she still went to a shop, bought liters of soda, and gulped them in under hours. She just laid and played. Laid and played.   
  
...What else could she do? She had a lot of free time, but not ever was it interesting to even have it.   
  
If only she could do something else, figure something else out, do something else… Talk to her mother about various things, so she could go somewhere else.   
  
...But no, Susie was too bad for that, wasn’t she?   
  
And to remember when she was seven, or eight… That little, happy-go-lucky attitude she had. She missed it so much… But she never could bring it back. It was impossible, there was no time machine, there was nothing.   
  
Nothing was fun… Even playing on the phone wasn’t that interesting anymore.   
  
Maybe… Maybe she’d do something… What would that something be, though?   
  
...What could she do? Was there really anything she didn’t do? Anything she didn’t try? Anything left to try?   
  
...Well, there are some treats she didn’t have yet. But… She needed money to save up for the train and for her to visit grandma… It’s not like she’d get a lot of money anyway.   
  
...What would she do? Three months have passed. Only nine to go.   
  
Will she really continue functioning like this? Is there no other choice?

\---

Fourth month. Nothing happened.

\---  
  
Fifth month. Nothing happened.   


\---  
  
Sixth month. Nothing happened.   
  
\---

  
Seventh month. Nothing happened.   
  
\---   
  
Eighth month. Something happened.   
  
Mother was distressed. Susie didn’t know what happened. Nobody would tell her.   
  
Mother was only coming home to sleep and eat, then went somewhere again. Attempts of Susie to talk to her didn’t even end up in her lashing out. It didn’t end up in something sour, or something heartbreaking.   
  
She was just ignored. Like she wasn’t there.   
  
This kept happening. Again and again. The fridge was getting empty. Susie was getting malnourished, she tried to complain but even that didn’t work. Even screaming didn’t work.   
  
Her mom didn’t do anything. When she came home, she made something to eat for herself, and went to bed. She wouldn’t even react if Susie was loud outside her bedroom. No reaction what-so-ever.   
  
Until, one sour morning.   
  
“Susie. Come here. We need to talk.” - Came the voice from outside the door.   
  
Susie woke up, rubbed her eyes, stood up of her bed and went to the door. Opened it, walked out, and proceeded to the living room.   
  
“Susie. I have news. Your grandmother is… My mom is… She’s… She’s gone. Gone!” - Came the distress from her mother’s voice.   
  
“W-w-what?” - The little dragon could only say.   
  
Mom sits on the chair, gulps up what looks like wine from the glass bottle, and holds it aside. Sniffing a lot.   
  
In a frantic voice, she says: - “A-and… That’s it. She’s… Gone. There are no longer visits for her… It’s finished… She is… Too old… I shoul-I shouldn’t’ve been like that with her… I… I…”   
  
“Mom!?” - The little dragon worried, about the poison of her life. She held her free hand, which her mother allowed to do.   
  
Susie’s mom gets Susie’s attention to look at her, by coughing up a little bit: - “Susie. Look at me. I… I haven’t been good to you… And, this is the time I got the wake up call… She was there for you, more than I ever was and will be…”   
  
Susie, confused as all hell, replies: - “Mom, what are you saying?”   
  
Eve sobs and sniffs again, groaning after.

In a scaredy voice, she continues: - “I-I… I just… I got the wake up call… It won’t last for long, I know for sure… Just know, that… Whatever will happen next… It won’t be something I mean. I’ve not meant… Anything I’ve done to you… I don’t think you can forgive me, and you shouldn’t… Just… Know, that I don’t want to do it… But I won’t be able to control myself anymore. I just can’t. I… I want to think I don’t hate you. I want to… Want to like you but… I just can’t bring myself anymore. I can’t. I’m too broken.”  
  
Susie, squeezing her mom’s hand, tries to understand what she’s talking about, but with how fast her mom is talking, it’s hard for her to do so.   
  
So she asked: - “Mom! What… What are you talking about?”   
  
Mother looked at her daughter with sincerity, and sadness in her eyes. She talked slower, explaining herself better for her to understand: - “Child. Look. I will make this very clear: Whatever happened before between us, was only just a piece of cake. Now comes something that will be very hard for you to get through… But, like your grandma said, and like I felt at that time… You’re strong. You can take it… You will make it. I don’t know what you… Should do. Being on the streets isn’t something that you’d be able to do.”   


Susie was surprised, she let out an eep sound, and took her hands off.

  
She had only one word to say: - “What?”   
  
Eve continued: - “I know, I know this is confusing, but please listen… That’s the only thing I’ll ever ask of you. I don’t want to hurt you, but whether I want that to happen or not, it won’t matter… I’m too broken, I can’t think of anything anymore, even now all I feel is dust rushing in my brain, I can’t… I just can’t.   
  
Susie. Please, just… Be very obedient from now on. Don’t argue, don’t be smart with me, don’t… Just do what I want you to do… Even if it will be something bad… If you disobey, it’ll only be worse to you…”   
  
Susie didn’t know how to respond. Her bad life was about to get even worse? Was that even possible?   
  
...Maybe she was dreaming. Maybe… Maybe it’s a dream.   
  
Once her mom squeezed her hand herself, Susie realized it wasn’t a dream.   
  
Realizing how dire the situation is, she could only reply in a weak voice: - “Mom… I’m… I’m confused and scared.”   
  
Hearing this, wouldn’t be hurting Susie’s mom at all, but now… She was.   
  
All she could say, was: - “...I know but… I can’t really help you. Nobody really can… You’ll have to depend on yourself.”   
  
“Mom… But I’m little.” - The truly little dragon said.   
  
Her mom sighed, with a heavy sigh, one you could only do when everything's wrong. One sigh that means everything went wrong. Nothing is right. - “You are. You are very little, young too, malnourished… Poor to look at but… I can’t help it. I just can’t. I know it will happen, so I’m warning you. Please, heed my warning. Don’t argue, don’t do anything. Just… Heed my warning, obey me, you’ll be better than you would be if you wouldn’t…”   
  
“I… Okay. Okay, mom.” - Susie said, half-sobbing, with tears that appeared, which haven’t been there for years.   
  
At last, Eve smiled, somewhat satisfied her mother understood her. - “Okay… Okay… Now… Please, go to your room. I don’t want you seeing me doing something terrible.”

Susie went away to her room, and on her way, she heard her mom going somewhere...  
  
But… What she heard next, wasn’t something she’d expect.   
  
What she heard was her mother’s voice, making the same sounds, as that one cotton-monster made, when he was beaten up.   
  
...Was her mother hurting herself? The same air sucking noises, grunts, moans… What was she doing?   
  
She almost wanted to go and see, maybe stop her mother… But, as her mother said herself, in her most caring attitude, she didn’t want Susie to see her in that way.   
  
And Susie, for some reason, wanted to obey. Wanted to be a good child.   
  
...A good child for once.   
  
\---   
  
Ninth month… Things got harder.   
  
Not at school, but at home. Susie noticed her mother was much less interactive. She wasn’t quite going anywhere, there was less food, and her mother didn’t wash the dishes, didn’t clean after herself… Even her drink of choice, which always was wine, was replaced with something transparent.   
  
Susie inspected the bottle once. It was vodka… It smelled horrible. Very horrible.   
  
A terrible stench, one Susie couldn’t stand but… She couldn’t do anything about it.   
  
She noticed how her mother was just peeking at the screen, not even managing to change the channel when there was an advertisement, when there was something she despised watching, now she just continued watching it…   
  
It’s like… Something broke inside of her mother. Something just… Fell off.   
  
Susie was glad, since her mom wasn’t as violent anymore… If anything, she was very ignorant of her. She didn’t disallow anything, didn’t question if she took a walk, didn’t question if she made something to eat.   
  
But… Even if she was glad that she wasn’t being mean to her, she really didn’t like seeing her so… So different.   
  
She didn’t know what to think. Didn’t know what to do.   
  
…   
  
Susie found pleasure in walking again. Winter was just close to come and it was cold. She, of course, had warmer clothes, but either she’d pick the very big clothes which weren’t quite comfortable to wear… Or she’d wear small clothes, which also weren’t quite comfortable to wear.   
  
Susie asked her mother about some money to buy clothes, which, without any words, her mother did give to her… Which made the smaller dragon uncomfortable.   
  
But, it was money, it was a necessity, so she would rather get something.   
  
Susie went to a clothing shop, second-hand, meaning clothes were cheap, but they were already worn by someone else before.   
  
She picked a, what looked like, hand-made knitted sweater, which was comfortable and warm. She also took some sport pants, since they were pretty thin, it was easy for Susie to wear her old jeans on top. She also bought another pair of jeans, which were darker blue than the ones she had. For some reason, Susie found them to look better.   
  
With clothes laying in her backpack, she walked home. The wind wasn’t good, but the sweater helped her cold-blooded nature to warm up. Was it a big boost? Not really, but it was far from being small.   
  
…   
  
Coming home, she was hungry, so she went to the kitchen.   
  
She found a knife in the sink, it was wet of course, seemingly washed.   
  
...But some drops in the sink were pale-grey. Was her… Mother really hurting herself?   
  
...No. No, that’s… That’s wrong.   
  
That’s… What was… What did it even mean..?   
  
...Harming herself. Herself...   
  
...Susie felt her stomach turn. She almost felt like she’d vomit but for some reason she didn’t…   
  
It just… Surprised her. Why did she do it? Why..? With a knife…   
  
It would hurt! It’s dangerous, it’s… It’s just wrong!   
  
Susie ran to her room, dropped her backpack nearby the door, and quickly fell asleep.   
  
That night, she had nightmares. Nightmares about stuff. About her mother. About murder. About her grandma. About everything.   
  
...Like she caused all this.


	8. Realization / IV - "When I was fourteen, cold had begun."

Went the next year. Fifth grade, some new subjects, got a bit more difficult too. She couldn’t understand chemistry well, it made no sense to her.   
  
Her mother was now angrier, just more easily frustrated, constantly on edge. Susie was being hit more often, berated more often and even been just completely beaten up at times.   
  
Susie had to keep strong… Not for her mom, for herself. She really didn’t know what to do anymore. She couldn’t take it… Yet she had to continue.   
  
It all got so much harder in three months… She didn’t know what to do.   
  
She didn’t know what she was. She felt… Angrier.   
  
Angrier at people who didn’t care about her situation, just eye-looked her, sometimes noticing the scars but not caring enough to ask about them.

  
It upset her so much.   
  
The audacity they had… Not caring… The arrogance…   
  
...No, she was at fault. She was the one avoiding everyone anyway. Maybe the so-called bullies just wanted to play with her, and she was mean to them.   
  
...Did she really fuck up everything?   
  
\---   
  
A birthday went odd. Her mom wasn’t home at all during it. There was nothing to see, no presents, not even some dollars that was usually her present, no candies, nothing… It’s like…   
  
It’s like her birthday didn’t matter anymore. It’s like it wasn’t important anymore.   
  
...Then again, why is a birthday something worth to celebrate? Just somebody was born… That’s it.   
  
She’d understand if it was a birthday of some scientist or something… But, just a birthday… It seemed really odd.   
  
…   
  
Maybe, she didn’t need a birthday anyway. One year older, pshht, like it mattered.   
  
\---   
  
Fourth month, came the abuse. Susie now knew how it felt to not be able to breathe properly, how it felt to scream constantly, how it felt to be bashed against the wall.   
  
It hurt. It hurt so much.   
  
Her mother screamed when she did it. Susie felt it.   
  
...She needed to be tough. Needed to.   
  
She needed to be strong if she wanted it to stop. She needed to.   
  
Sometimes, her mother would breath fire. Fire which burnt, a lot. Even if dragons are much more resistant to fire, Susie never could breath it. She could only receive it herself, and it hurt. It didn’t kill her, but it hurt so much…   
  
...She knew that her scales fell when the fire came. She knew that even her tail fell.   
  
...She loathed it. She loathed it. She loathed it.   
  
Hated it so much. Hated the pain. Hated the situation.   
  
Hated life. She didn’t like living anymore.   
  
Why bother living if every week she has to suffer?   
  
Why bother living if every week comes with a harder punch?   
  
...Tough it up. Tough it up.   
  
Eat it up, eat it up.   
  
Feel it, feel it.   
  
Try again.   
  
\---   
  
Month number seven. The worst month.   
  
Susie remembers how it felt being forced to drink vodka. How dizzy she felt. How… She was whipped with cables. How she was hurting, how she was trembling when she laid down.   
  
...How she couldn’t move a muscle, how she was only being beaten up.   
  
How her mother laughed. How she cried, how she thought she’d die.   
  
But no. The final punches never came. She just was left laying on the cold floor.   
  
Colder than it would ever be outside.   
  
It was so cold… Cold that the entire house would go below zero, if it means for her soul to be shattered.   
  
It’s so cold. Painful.   
  
Susie couldn’t think anymore. She was afraid to be home. She was afraid to study. Afraid to walk…   
  
She was so afraid. So afraid of everything.   
  
There came the other day. The other day was even worse. Susie couldn’t see with her left eye that day. She was hit there. She felt dust coming out. She couldn’t see with it, she could feel how painful it was when the eye moved by itself. She was waking up with one of her eyes open, she was brushing her teeth with one eye. Every time she raised her hair, she saw the damage.   
  
Saw something that she never wanted. Something nobody should feel...   
  
She didn’t know what to say. Didn’t know what to think. She didn’t know… She didn’t want to. She just wanted it to be over.   
  
Wanted to move on. Wanted to make a change…   
  
...But would that change want to come? Susie didn’t think it would.   
  
Susie didn’t believe. Susie didn’t have faith.   
  
Susie never knew what to do.   
  
…   
  
Came the next week. Susie’s hair was cut off. Not all of it, thankfully, but a larger part of it.   
  
Her hairstyle was like she was a boy. She didn’t want her black-eye to be seen by anyone, so she became a pirate. She was laughed at, at school. But she didn’t care…   
  
If anyone would know… Susie would be in bigger trouble.   
  
That’s what her mother said. Susie didn’t want to find out what would happen.   
  
She didn’t want to do anything.   
  
She just wanted to move on… Leave it all…   
  
…   
  
…   
  
…   
  
Stop… Existing…   
  
\---   
  
Eleventh month, came by, but for some reason she remembers when she was ten better, than when she was eleven. Ten, the year when she first started losing it.   
  
Losing it all. Received everything terrible to come to her. Got a lot of emotional abuse. A lot of hard feelings.   
  
Conflicted feelings. Unknown feelings. Feelings that she didn’t want to feel.   
  
And now, four years later, she’s ruined. She feels all of that. All of that terrible, terrible stuff harder.   
  
Harder to her. Harder to all.   
  
...She didn’t know if she wanted to be tough anymore. She didn’t know if she wanted to live anymore.   
  
What’s the point of living if, just when your eye is recovered, just when you learned healing magic, your arm was broken?   
  
Thankfully, there was no school, so she didn’t have to hide anything…   
  
When Susie ate, she couldn’t - it hurt to chew, it hurt to swallow, it hurt to have food travel through her stomach. When Susie drank, it was better, but it didn’t help at all.   
  
...Eating anything sweet felt so hollow.   
  
...And during winter, she felt like she didn’t like winter anymore. It was too cold. Colder than she was and yet, it was dead.   
  
...Dead like Susie, she believed.   
  
Where would she be dead at? She didn’t know. She couldn’t say.   
  
...She knew that she didn’t want to know, she didn’t want it to progress.   
  
She just wanted to be left alone… Alone to just… Be taken away by some power. Taken away… Moved somewhere else.   
  
In a different world… Something “celestial”...   
  
Be among the stars.   



	9. Endurance / I - "When I was fifteen, abandoned I've been."

First month went by simple.   
  
It was unnerving. Susie’s so-called mother was anything but abusive or evil. She was uncaring at most…   
  
Susie wondered why was that. How come her mother had a sudden change of heart... But later, she would find out why.

\---   
  
On the second week of the second month, Susie awoke somewhere… Somewhere unknown.   
  
She was… At a forest. With a backpack, with some clothes, some water, some food…   
  
...Where was she? Where was this place?.. It was… Snowy. Very, very snowy.   
  
There were many trees, there were many… Many things to look at. And… Many ways to go.   
  
Susie’s chest hurt, her legs hurt, her arms hurt, her back hurt… But, she chose to keep going.   
  
She didn’t know where she was going, where she was, why she was here…   
  
And she knew she was cold.   
  
She thought… It was probably the time to change clothes. And so, she did. Now she has a white shirt, over it was a purple jacket, and she wore jeans, dark blue, much longer jeans than she was used to wearing.   
  
She looked beyond, she looked above.   
  
She also found out she was hungry, her stomach vibrated, and she felt the stinging pain of hunger. She had some food - a candy bar, in the backpack, with some water in a bottle.   
  
She quickly took care of both, and when she was done, she realized she didn’t have the strength to carry the bag, and it was also torn as well as wet.   
  
...She left it behind, and continued walking.   
  
…   
  
She didn’t know where exactly she was walking to. She didn’t have a good sense of direction… She tracked through snow. She looked straight, had her cold-blooded hands stuck in her pockets, and went on, keeping the cold in.   
  
  
  
It hurt, the cold stung a little bit, hunger wasn’t as much of a problem since she ate… But, if there was anything she had trouble with, it was walking. She was tired, and it hurt. But, she had to walk… Get somewhere at least.   
  
Be it a single wooden house with a stove and a hunter, be it another city, be it a small town - she’d take anything…   
  
...But did she really want to take that anything? Maybe it’d be better to just… Freeze.   
  
...No, no, she had to keep going. She didn’t know why-- She couldn’t explain why but she *had to* keep going.   
  
She had to eat it up, she had to be strong… Find a place to stay at.   
  
She needed to achieve something. Needed to… Do it.   
  
She walked. Walked through snow, through trees. Walking more and more, step for step. Going alone, not looking back.    
  
Forward, forward. No foolishness from her, no childishness from her.   
  
Responsibility, determination… She has them both. She knows she does.   
  
…   
  
She realized that the jacket and jeans, don’t help as much as she had expected. It’s still cold. She maybe should’ve expected it, since in Ebott, it was cold too.   
  
...But without all the ovens, cars, power, electricity making the temperature somewhat warmer in Ebott… Here? It’s nothing.   
  
Well, unless you count many feral trees, many non-feral trees, a lot of crispy snow, the wind, the breeze and many snowflakes falling.   
  
…

Falling snowflakes… Like the hopes she once had.   
  
…   
  
Crispy snow, falling under her shoes... Like her character.   
  
…   
  
The breeze that blows at her coat… Stinging like the pain she endured.

…   
  
How odd it is. For a walk, yes, a very troublesome walk, to be this… Philosophical? True? Thoughtful?   
  
She couldn’t pick a word for it.   
  
…

The breeze is stinging. Snow is crunching.   
  
...Not a single squirrel in the distance. Not a rabbit, not a crow.   
  
...Just her.   
  
Alone, in a forest.   
  
Forest with unknown length. But, one thing she figured out, the forest is quite dense.   
  
…   
  
She still walked. Walked. Wa--   
  
“Aauf!” - The little, clumsy, dragon let out.   
  
Susie fell in the snow.   
  
...Cold.   
  
Cold-cold-cold-cold-cold!   
  
She touched the snow with her hands which was really, really cold.   
  
She immediately pushed herself to stand, and wrapped her arms around her.   
  
She… Tripped. Tripped because of how her stupid jeans were--   
  
No, Susie, don’t. Jeans aren’t stupid. They’re just… Long. Yeah, they’re just long.   
  
That’s fixable. You can fix this.   
  
Susie crouched down, and folded the ends of her jeans, so that she wouldn’t accidentally step on them. She brushed off the snow that was on her jeans as well.   
  


It was still cold, but she kept on treading. Treading through the snow, through the woods…   
  
…   
  
It feels like she’s been walking for hours, but the sun didn’t even go a bit dim. Which means, it might be still morning, or noon… She can’t quite tell, since the trees close quite a bit of the sky, making it hard to see the sun.   
  
Plus, it’s cloudy, not cloudy by a lot but still cloudy.

She wondered if she’ll get somewhere… She doesn’t walk slowly, after all.   
  
Maybe she will be somewhere soon… It’s best to stay hopeful.   
  
…   
  
She walked more. Minutes, tens of minutes, might’ve been hours… It finally got darker.   
  
Not only that, the forest felt like it got denser. There were more trees, and it felt like it got colder.   
  
...More windy too. It’s like, she is getting somewhere.   
  
Or, so she hoped, anyway.   
  
It was colder, after all, if there would be nothing… She’d have to go back.   
  
And, it’d be a waste of energy and time, were she to go back.   
  
It’s like, her walking this far in, wasn’t worth it at all…   
  
...Then she’d finally starve, or freeze or…   
  
...Or worse.   
  
…   
  
Tired, cold, hungry - she continued.   
  
Continued with walking… Was it aimed at something? It wasn’t, it was pretty much aimless walking.   
  
Walking, hearing the crunchy snow, seeing the trees, their colour being harder to see because of the approaching darkness…   
  
…   
  
Hours pass, without an hourglass nearby.   
  
Susie is… Very tired, she’s walking much slower now…   
  
She’s still cold and still hungry.   
  
...But, she sees light in the distance.   
  
Light, that pierces through the tree leaves.   
  
Could it be that… She came somewhere?   
  
...Did she finally have destiny that worked out for her?    
  
Tired, with sore feet, the aged up dragon ran to the light, to see…   
  
...To see something that resembles a town. A really small one, she saw, but a beautiful one.   
  
It had snow, and she didn’t see many people walking on the streets.   
  
...Less so, she didn’t see any cars.   
  
Was this an abandoned town? Are there people there-- Well, as she approached, she saw the lights.   
  
Lights that must say that there are people there, right?   
  
She went in, and indeed, she saw people on the other side of the windows. And, the more she walked, the more she saw that the town she found, was very small.   
  
Since she found a place… What now? Does she go in asking for food? Does she ask people where to find shelter?   
  
What now?   
  
…   
  
Susie went to the diner, and saw a bunny lady, that served something to a family.   
  
The family consisted of two big goats, one huge, one smaller, then the third goat, who was most likely their child, and he looked older than Susie (and a bit taller than her), and a human…   
  
Wait, the human seemed very familiar to her. But… She doesn’t recall who it is.   
  
Yet, she sees the human, who had red horns on his head? She wondered what that meant.   
  
“Hey, little one. What brings you here?” - Somebody said, catching Susie’s attention.   
  
Susie looked at the person, it was another bunny, but she was taller than the bunny who was treating the goat family. She said what came to mind, hunger clouding her consciousness: - “H-hey… I’m new in the town and… I am hungry.”   
  
The sentence she said, made the other bunny stammer a bit. She tried not to show it, and she asked the dragon: - “You’re hungry?.. Umm… Where is your parent or a caretaker?”   
  
“I don’t have one.” - Susie coldly responded, not meaning to be upset.   
  
“...What? You don’t have anybody with you?” - The Bunny girl replied, with shock in her voice.   
  


Shock, which was understandable, and shock which Susie didn’t know how to take.

  
“No…” - The guest just said in a sad voice.   
  
“You poor soul!.. Umm… Well, you are hungry so, name something you want to eat, and it’s on the house. I can’t let a child starve.” - The kind bunny murmured.   
  
Susie didn’t know how to reply, or if she should’ve refused the offer… But then, she’s the one who said she was hungry.   
  
...Maybe this bunny doesn’t lie.   
  
She took the menu, and looked at it… Some sort of a sandwich, caught her attention, so she stated: - “Umm… I’d like some… What’s… What’s a ‘burger’?”   
  
“Oh, it’s a pretty meal, it’s like a sandwich, but has meat instead of ham, and it’s more juicy. It’s a good treat, and should beat your hunger easily.” - The bunny said, explaining what a burger was to the child.   
  
Susie understood it, and with some surprise, she replied with affirmation. -“Oh! Then um, I’d like that, please.”   
  
“Alright. Do you want hot chocolate with that?” - The bunny asked, taking a note.   
  
“Umm… Yes?” - Susie said, not really knowing what hot chocolate was. Yet, it sounded like it was tasty.   
  
The bunny noted something else, and ripped the note out of the notebook. - “Alright, just wait a few minutes while I make some food. Just sit there, you see that place over the chimney? Sit there on the couch, and I’ll bring you some food.”   
  
“Okay.” - Susie said, turning away and going to the place the bunny pointed at.   
  
She took a seat, and continued looking around the place.   
  
She never was in a diner before but she liked how it looked. It felt nice. Felt welcoming. And was warm.   
  
It wasn’t full of people, there only were the workers, that family, and she herself.   
  
She decided to pay attention to the family.   
  
“--Kris, do you enjoy the chocolate?” - The cheery voice came from the youngest goat.   
  
‘Kris’? Wait… Kris.   
  
Kris… Kris… Kris.   
  
Kris!   
  
Susie started to remember. The human kid, back in kindergarten. The one who was there for like a week.   
  
...And the one she ditched, because her mother said something about humans being bad.   
  
She feels angry. Not at Kris but at herself. She could’ve been good to him, was it not for her dumb mother.   
  
But that’s a different story, one thing she sees about Kris now, is that he is with different parents.   
  
He seems to be happy with them though.   
  
Her train of thought was interrupted by the bunny, who brought the food.   
  
Susie looked at the burger, and saw that it looked a bit odd. Yet, she thought it was fine. It seemed fine, anyhow...    
  
She thanked the bunny, who just nodded, and leaned in to take a bite.   
  
And… She liked it. It tasted really nice. She also took a swig of the hot-chocolate, which was liquid… For some reason.   
  
But, it also tasted nice.   
  
Yet… Susie wondered, was this good food really something she… Deserved?   
  
After all, if she was thrown out to the cold or… Stolen from her city, or…   
  
Or… She… She didn’t really know what happened. Nor that she wanted to think about it either.   
  
She just ate in silence. Enjoying the food.   
  
...Yet, she knew, she couldn’t have the heart to ask for more free food of this place. She didn’t want to be a bother, especially to those who seem like good people.   
  
…   
  
When she finished eating, she went out, thanking the bunny again, who just said for her to come back soon.   
  
She walked out and… Headed somewhere.   
  
She wasn’t as cold but, with winter coming in, she had to find somewhere to rest.   
  
She saw something that looked like a church, the more she walked. That’s a place she wouldn’t be nearing, any time soon.   
  
She saw some sort of a grocery shop, called “Grillby’s” which seems like a good place, but she didn’t have any money.   
  
She turned the other way, and continued studying the city. She saw various houses, in which people lived, saw various places, a police station, to which she should probably come to at some point, and she saw a school.   
  
...She couldn’t go to school, unless she talked to someone.   
  
The schools now are on vacation, but if she wanted some sort of graduation, she had to, somehow, get into that school.   
  
She probably would solve it tomorrow.   
  
Now, she probably needed to go to the police. And heading to the door, she found that it was closed, but there were lights.   
  
She knocked on the door, with her childish voice being heard, she saw a figure in the window nearby, who, then went away from the window.   
  
…   
  
And the door opened, by… A fish monster?   
  
“Hey, do you know that it’s kinda late? Like, it’s actually 17:55, we’re like, already closed for 55 minutes you know?” - She said, with a pretty loud voice.   
  
Loud voice intimidated the dragon, so she could only retort with a smaller, meek voice: - “Oh, I’m sorry! I’m new in town…”   
  
The fish cop lady, responded much calmer. - “Ah! That explains it. Well then, kiddo, come in. Gotta get you some kind of documents, eh?”   
  
The fish lady, her tag reading “Officer Undyne”, walked into the building, with Susie coming behind her.   
  
Susie came into the cabinet, and Undyne sat in front of a desk, pointing at a chair for Susie.   
  
“Sit there. There are gonna be some questions… Now, do you have an ID?” - Officer asked, ready to smash the keyboard into submission.   
  
“I’m fifteen, and… I didn’t get an ID.” - The dragon replied.   
  
“Why haven’t you?” - Came the question from the fish.   
  
“I didn’t know about it, and my mom didn’t tell me about it.” - Susie honestly replied.   
  
“Who’s your mother?” - Undyne asked.   
  
“It’s not that important now, officer… It’s back in Ebott.” - The town’s guest asked.   
  
“Well, kid, if you want to leave it be, leave it be. Then, there are gonna be more questions. Hope you’re ready.” - The fish told her.   
  
“I am.” - Susie replied, with some determination in her voice.   
  
“Alright. Full name?” - Undyne started.   
  
“Susanne Maria Tegornfett.” - Susanne replied.   
  
“You’re 15, and a girl then. You come from Ebott. Do you have a home here or somewhere you can stay?” - Undyne continued.

  
“No.” - Came the response.   
  
“Damn. Guess I’ll have to find you a place here. If anything, there ought to be empty flats in the big house. Alright, ever been to school?”    
  
“Yes, grade fifth was the one I’ve ended.” - Dragon replied.   
  
“Not behind a class, alright, then it won’t be hard fitting you into our school here. Now, we’re over with the questions. Wasn’t so hard, was it? But, we’re not yet done. Now, for the ID, I’d need you to place your left pointing finger on the scanner.” - The officer instructed the dragon.   
  
Susie placed the finger on the scanner, and when Undyne told her to place the other, she did just that.   
  
“Good. Now, we’re gonna need a photo, but with that look of yours, which is quite dirty, we need to wash your hair first. Come on, let’s do this.” - Undyne said, stood up from her chair.   
  
“I don’t have any money…” - Susie said, kicking the floor softly.   
  
“Kid, it doesn’t matter. You need to be clean.” - Undyne retorted, assuring Susie.   
  
“Okay…” - Susie said, following the officer.   
  
They came to a room, which had a weird chair, that had a hole where the head would go. Undyne pointed at the chair.   
  
“Here, sit here.” - Susie did as instructed and set. - “Lay back, lean your head like… This, yes, and just wait. I’ll wash it.”    
  
…   
  
“There you go. Clean and nice! Alright, let’s take that photo, you’ll get your ID, and we’ll see about a house. Since you’re a child, you’ll pretty much get some money every month. It won’t be a lot, since uh, the town budget isn’t as great as it should’ve been… But, in this town, you’ll make friends easily, which means you won’t be abandoned.” - Undyne said, beaming at the smaller one.   
  
“That’s… Reassuring.” - Susie replied.   
  
“Yeah. Now just look in the camera, you don’t need to smile, and… Done. Now just wait a bit for it to print… And, there you go. An ID.” - Undyne said, lending the ID to the child.   
  
“Thank you officer.” - The child said, stuffing the ID in the pocket.   
  
“Ah, don’t mention it kid. It’s what I’m here for. Now, let’s go see about the house.” - Undyne said, walking out of the room, Susie following her. Undyne flicked off the lightswitches, and stepped out from the station.

She locked the station, and she and the orphan went to the bigger house… Whatever that meant.   
  
Susie could only guess, there are big houses here, after all...

  
“So, uh, I’m just curious. How come you came here?” - Undyne broke the silence.

  
“I woke up not far away, and I walked until I reached this place.” - The dragon replied, once again, with honesty.   
  
“Well… Damn, I’ll look to see your mother gets justice served to her. But… Uh, you came into Hometown. It’s a small town, with not much to see, but it’s a town that probably has the friendliest people around.” - The cop said, reassuring the child that she’ll be okay.   
  
“I’ve noticed.” - Susie replied, knowing what she meant.   
  
“You’ve been to the diner or something? Yeah, you probably have, if you wandered into here, you must’ve been hungry… Ah, sorry I’m talking about it like that.” - Undyne replied, awkwardly smiling.   
  
Susie looked at the cop and nervously smiled too, saying: - “It’s okay..?”   
  
“I suppose. People just don’t like me to dig into them, when they’ve not done anything wrong.” - The cop said, more to herself than to the child.   
  
“...” - Came the silence from the child.

Undyne, again, beamed at the kid, coughing up a bit, clearing her throat.   
  
She reassured the child: - “Hey, kid, buckle up. It’ll be alright out here. I’m sure you’ll find something nice. Prices are also cheap here, so with the money you’ll get, you’ll certainly live okay.”   
  
“Okay.” - Susie said.   
  
“Now, don’t be so glum. The more gloomy you are, the less hopeful you are. You gotta be optimistic, alright?” - Undyne said.   
  
“Alright.” - The dragon replied, after a shrug and a breath out.   
  
“There you go… Now. Here we are.” - Came the officer’s voice, when they’ve arrived.   
  
It was a brick-built house, multiple floors, multiple flats. It looked quite cosy, and it seemed that people inside weren’t all sleeping. Then again, it probably wasn’t that late to sleep yet, or so Susie thought.   
  
They both walked into the house, and there’s a concierge person sitting there. They looked like… A violet spider?   
  
“Hu-hu-hu! Officer Undyne, what brings you here?~” - The spider said, with a gentle voice of a lady.   
  
The officer said, in a happy voice: - “Hey, Mrs. Muffet. Got a rascal to give shelter to. She’s alone, and there must be a flat here for her, right?”   
  
The spider held two hands of their six together, before chuckling a bit, she responded: - “Why, of course, dearie! For a child like her, I think the third flat on the right on the second floor, should do. Now, little one, why won’t you come closer to me?~”   
  
Susie didn’t quite know what to make of this sudden kindness she got from three strangers today. She just stammered: - “O-okay.”   
  
Muffet gave keys to the child, with a weird-looking bug amulet as a keychain.   
  
“There~ Second floor, third on the right! Just don’t be loud!~” - The lady repeated for the child to hear.   
  
“I won’t be.” - The child reassured.   
  
“Thank you, Mrs. Muffet.” - The officer said, beaming at the spider.   
  
Muffet smiled, sipped from a cup of tea that was being held by their fourth hand and said: - “Oh, it’s my pleasure, Officer! Everything for the good of the town, a-hu-hu-hu!~”   
  
Susie and Undyne went to the second floor, and as they reached the door and Susie unlocked it, the Officer placed a hand on the dragon’s shoulder.   
  
She murmured: - “Alright kiddo, you go there, and make yourself at home, alright? Don’t forget to come to the station tomorrow, gonna meet you with the teachers and all.”   
  
“Okay.” - Susie said, with a small smile on her face.   
  
The cop clapped her on the shoulder two times, put on her hat (that she took off before?) and said: - “Now remember, don’t be glum! It’ll be alright.”   
  


“I won’t.” - Susie reassured.   
  
The cop said, as she started walking away, slowly. - “Alright, see you tomorrow, Susanne!”   
  
“Please… Call me Susie.” - The dragon replied.   
  
“Alright, ‘call me Susie’!” - The officer caught up.   
  
“Ha-ha-ha..!” - The dragon laughed, for the first time in years, feeling nice inside.   
  
“Made ye’ laugh!” - Undyne said, before going out.   
  
Susie came into the door, and locked it. Turning on the lights, revealed a pretty small flat, but it was quite comfy. There was a nice, cream round carpet, a table with two classy chairs, a stove with a cooker above, two small rooms, a shower and a toilet, another room, a bedroom with a bed bigger than Susie once had and much comfier than the one she had, a set of sheets… It pretty much had everything for a nice, comfortable life.

She was really tired, so she just turned off the lights. Undressed herself, and laid down on the bed, covering herself with a blanket.   
  
She would have a nice sleep. A great sleep.   
  
\---   
  
Waking up, she realized she didn’t set an alarm. Yet, she understood why, she wasn’t really up for it.   
  
...Still, she woke up quite early, 7:24 it was, which means she’d have a long day to herself… Without knowing what to really do.   
  
She remembered that she had to go to the station today, which she didn’t know if was even open at this time. But, she could try… Later, in like an hour.   
  
Now, she needs to figure out the house a little more. Best to know where you live.   
  
…   
  
After going around the house, she figured that she has a nice room. A fridge, a kettle, a window to look outside, a shower, with hot and cold water, a toilet and even a TV with a couple of channels, that for some reason, weren’t as lame as they were in Ebott.   
  
Susie could actually watch something. Like “Wicked Johnson”, or “Owotar”.   
  
Both were in the evening, maybe it’d be fun?   
  
Now, breakfast… Thankfully, the house had some food stored in the fridge, enough to make a sandwich and to fry an egg. Susie knew how to do both, so she decided to experiment.    
  
Making an egg-sandwich on a frying pan, with ham and cheese.    
  
…   
  
She succeeded, the sandwich she got was quite nice, and it was quite big too. She also got some orange juice that laid there for a while. It was also nice.   
  
...Now then, with her done with breakfast, she washed her dishes, and readied up to go.   
  
The same jacket, the same jeans, both of which have dried up. She made her bed, and taking the keys, stepped out of the door.   
  
Having it locked, she went down a floor, to see Muffet at her place, but now drinking coffee instead of tea.   
  
“Ah, I see you’re awake, child? How did you sleep?” - The spider lady said, sipping quietly on her coffee.   
  
Susie smiled at the spider and said: - “I slept good, thank you Mrs… Muffet.”   
  
The spider had her eyes widen, she didn’t expect her name to be remembered that quickly by the newcomer.   
  
She gave a smile of her own, and with a chuckle, she responded: - “Hu-hu-hu! You remembered my name!~ How delightful it is to hear.”   
  
“It’s a nice name you have...” - Susie said, not knowing how to respond.   
  
Muffet, with a smile, gently replied: - “Why thank you, little Susie. Your name is pretty nice too~”   
  
“Well… I uh, gotta go now.” - Susie said, smiling awkwardly.   
  
Muffet, blinked with all of her eyes, and replied: - “That’s alright, I’m sure you need to go to the station. Do you remember how to get there?”   
  
Susie thought a bit, and remembering the way, she nodded: - “Yeah, yeah I do.”   
  
“Good~ Have fun!” - Muffet said.   
  
“Thank you.” - Susie said.   
  
Susie went out of the house, since it was still morning, it wasn’t really crowded outside. Though, the sunrise was beautiful. It was actually pretty nice, when Susie looked at it.   
  
Hometown, if she remembered the name of the town correctly, was much better looking than Ebott. Ebott was just a house-full place, but Hometown had vigor to it, had nature to it, it wasn’t big, yet it felt like it. It was magical.   
  
She didn’t want to hurry, she wanted to walk and breathe in all of the beauty of it.   
  
When she stopped at the road, she saw a red van driving somewhere. She saw that goat lady who was driving it, from the family in the diner.   
  
When she got to the other side of the road, she proceeded to the station, she still couldn’t help but look around her.   
  
Hometown really was beautiful, even if it was the depressing winter.   
  
When she got close, she found the van parked near the station, which… Maybe that goat was a teacher? It would make sense… Maybe.   
  
If Susie was honest, she wanted the goat to be a teacher… She didn’t quite know why, either. Maybe she just felt like she would be a good teacher?   
  
Regardless of anything, she knocked on the door, and seeing a familiar silhouette, she readied herself to smile.   
  
“Ah, Susie, you’re here. Dam-- Darn, didn’t expect you to be here so early. But hey, you’re just in time to meet the teacher!” - The Officer greeted the child, shaking her hand.   
  
“Really?” - Susie beamed, thinking that her guess about the goat being a teacher, proved to be right.   
  
“Yeah. Come in, come in.” - She said, motioning with her hand.   
  
Coming in, Undyne opened a door to a different cabinet, and again, motioned for Susie to come in.   
  
“Go in there, I’ll be there soon. The teacher’s waiting for you there.” - She said, sounding laid back in her voice.   
  
“Okay.” - The child replied.   
  
“Don’t be afraid, she might just be the nicest woman you’d ever meet.” - Undyne reassured, with that toothy smile of hers.   
  
Susie stepped in, seeing a friendly looking goat woman sitting at the chair. As the dragon closed the door, the goat looked at the child, beaming immediately.   
  
“Ah, there you are. Officer Undyne has told me quite a bit about you!” - She said, looking at the child.   
  
“H-hey. Mrs..?” - Susie said, not knowing the name of the teacher.   
  
The goat chuckled in response, and fixed her glasses.   
  
She introduced herself more properly: - “Aww, don’t be shy, little one. My name is Toriel Dreemurr but please, call me Toriel.”   
  
“Okay, Mrs. Toriel.” - Susie said, smiling awkwardly after.   
  
“No, no, child. You can really just call me Toriel. Come on, take a seat! Don’t just stand there...” - Toriel said, in a really comfortable voice.   
  
Susie immediately took a seat, nodding and saying: - “...Alright, Toriel.”   
  
“There you are. Well, You’re going to the sixth grade, right? I will be one of your teachers!” - The future teacher said.   
  
“That’s… Nice.” - Susie replied.   
  
“Ha-ha-ha! I’m glad you’re eager. There will also be one other teacher but she’s on vacation, out of town, so she couldn’t come.” - The goat said, explaining more about the school to Susie.   
  
“Alright…” - Came the response from the dragon.   
  
“Yeah, don’t fret! We both will ensure you will understand what’s told, and we’ll try our best not to make our lessons boring!” - Toriel said, further making Susie feel better.   
  
“I look forward to it..!” - Susie said, trying to contain the excitement.   
  
“I like how eager you are, child. Well, you won’t need to get anything, all of the supplies will be given to you when the lessons will start. You’ll just need to come to school on the first of March… Do you have any questions?” - She asked, in a tone that Susie really wished to answer.   
  
Susie thought a bit, before responding: - “Yes… What about school lunch?”   
  
“Well, there is a cafeteria in our school, the food there is free, but admittedly, it’s not much. Though, some parents gather funds together, to form a ‘Free Ham Sandwich Day’ which every friday, offers free ham sandwiches for everyone. And of course, you can get something in the cafeteria additionally, the prices are quite alright there.” - The goat said.   
  
Susie believed what the goat said, finding it hard that a small town would provide much better comfort for her.    
  
“That’s great!” - Came the excited response.   
  
“It is, and the food is made with love, so it will be good! ...Now, any other questions?” - Toriel continued, asking again.   
  
“Yes… What is the schedule like?” - Susie asked, curious.   
  
Toriel thought a bit, before remembering the schedule. - “Oh! It’s from morning until noon. There aren’t many lessons, and there are some breaks. We don’t study on Saturday as well, and like anywhere, we don’t have many holidays, a week for every season, and an additional week for Summer.”   
  
“That’s nice.” - Susie said, and she really did think that way. It was nice that school had a nice schedule, like the one she had in Ebott.   
  
“Yeah, school can’t be tiring to children, else they won’t remember the material…” - Toriel said, with which Susie silently agreed.   
  
“Well… Susie, I’ll be glad to see you in school this year! I’ll need to solve some stuff with Undyne, so I suppose you can head outside now!” - The goat said, fixing her glasses once more.   
  
“Alright...”   
  
“You could pay us a visit sometime! We really like guests! You’ll find our house on the top street, above the school, the left-most side.”   
  
“Okay. I’ll think about it.”    
  
“Okay, Susie! No forcing.”   
  
The door opened, and Undyne stepped in.   
  
“Right, Susie, sorry that I took long. I take it you’re both are finished?”   
  
“Yes, we are, officer.” - Susie said.   
  
“Alright, here’s the paper, just sign it here.” - Undyne said, lending Susie a document.   
  
Susie signed the paper, making a neat signature.   
  
“Alright, now look, you’ll get it from Muffet each month. Here’s also a small wallet for you, to keep onto it.” - Undyne continued, giving a neat leather wallet to the dragon.   
  
“Alright.” - Susie said, inspecting the wallet closer, before pocketing it.   
  
“Now, we’re pretty much done. You don’t really need to come here, unless you wanna talk or something. Maybe you’ll meet Napstablook too, who knows. That ghost is a shy one.” - Undyne said.   
  
“Okay, I’ll keep it in mind. Thank you.” - Susie told her, before going out.   
  


“Don’t mention it, kid. It’s what I’m here for.” - Undyne smiled at Susie, and let her off.

\---   
  
Susie liked hometown. She, admittedly, didn’t go anywhere that was populated, she found it better to be alone.   
  
...For some reason, she just couldn’t feel right with all the kindness surrounding her.   
  
She saw the other children, more than once too. Most of them seemed like good children, hopeful, nice and kind. She also didn’t see a single bully anywhere, which also made her feel odd about the town.   
  
The town was so uncanny in a good way, that it practically felt like heaven on earth. Susie didn’t know if she wanted to go to the church or not. She thought against it, though whenever she walked, she found that quite a lot of people were heading there, including her teacher’s family. Seems like the town is full of religious folk, some even wearing crosses.   
  
While she was skeptical of religion herself, she respected people’s views, even if they weren’t crossing her own thoughts.

She found it curious that, in such a small town, there would be the exact human she once had contact with. She found it a bit… Amusing, to see the kid being led around by his bigger brother. It looks like his brother really cares about him, which… Would’ve made Susie felt warm but… All she was, is jealous.   
  
She didn’t like to feel jealous, yet she just couldn’t help it.   
  
She, for some reason, couldn’t feel happy for the human. She just couldn’t.   
  
She felt bitter when she saw him. Him being treated well. She… She didn’t like it.   
  
...She didn’t like thinking about it like that either.   
  
So, whenever she saw them, she turned away and walked somewhere else. She didn’t want to feel bad, nor did she want to feel annoyed… She also didn’t want to cause trouble.   
  
\---   
  
More time passes, school begins.   
  
Susie was surprised that everything Toriel told her, was actually right and true.   
  
She also found the other teacher, Alphys, to be an interesting teacher. While she was really dorky and really nervous, she was always ready to help, and her explanations mostly were really interesting. She also drew some nice images to help her lessons feel interesting, they were definitely inspired by some of the Japanese animation and artstyle, yet, she has done a great job at replicating it.   
  
The dragon also found the school food to be really good. She also attended the free ham sandwich days, which were good, and she could take three sandwiches at once.   
  
But, because of the amount of food she ate suddenly increasing, her appetite raised too.   
  
She wasn’t as full as she should’ve been, even with her eating something at home. Then again, she remembered, she was born a dragon, and dragons needed a lot of food, to grow nicely.   
  
With her being malnourished, she guessed she just had to catch up with the food and energy, and since now she is doing that, she’s getting hungrier.   
  
Susie also found her classmates, for the most part, to be okay.

There was a dinosaur kid, who just called himself “Monster Kid”, which didn’t seem like their name, but she wouldn’t question it. He was a religious kid, without any arms which… Made her think about how hard it’d be to live like this.   
  
Then there was an awfully shy deer called Noelle, a deer that she didn’t find all that endearing. She was the most successful student, the kindest student, yet something about her seemed… Off. She was staring at Susie much more than she needed to, and the dragon found that uncomfortable.   
  
There was an annoying avian, who was named Berdly. He was quite annoying because he was really boastful and generally annoying. Susie didn’t like him at all, but he was harmless. Just annoying and at times prickly with his words. He would be mean to Susie, but she ignored him.   
  
There was a pretty big cat, called Catti, she seemed like someone stuck in a phase of being a goth for a long time, and she also was constantly on her phone. Even when she talked to people, she would be on her phone. Susie didn’t know what to make of her, she seemed quite emotionless.   
  
There was a snake, calling himself Jockington, he was the most “radical” monster out there. Really cool, acting cool, and being cool. He had charm, she wouldn’t lie.   
  
Then there was… Temmie. Temmie was… Weird. It’s not that Susie didn’t like her, Susie just didn’t know what she really was. She was hyper emotional, befriended a hard-boiled egg, and at times shook really hard. Dragon didn’t mind her at all, while she was really dorky and kind of weird, she was fun to be around, admittedly.   
  
Then there was Snowy, who wanted to be funny, yet Susie didn’t find him to be. In fact, nobody really found him to be that funny. Sometimes his jokes or puns were okay, others it made her stomach turn from how terrible they were. Though, people had different opinions, some even laughed… Though, thinking on it, she didn’t know if it was pitying or not.   
  
And finally, there was Kris, the only human she ever saw, and the most mysterious person. He was paying attention to class, he seemed to be friends with MK and Noelle, others (besides Berdly) were also kind to him, yet he never really… Talked much. He seemed like a person who knows a lot, and his grades were quite alright. He was also going out of school with his brother.   
  
They were all different, but they had something in unison.

They all avoided her however, admittedly, she wasn’t the one going to contact either. She was worried about her own things, awfully worried to the point of not being able to set aside time for classmates.   
  
She found it hard to focus with time. When she was busy being at home, it was easier. Now… Not as much.   
  
She also realized she didn’t have any charger for her phone, so she wasn’t on it for about 5 months now. The battery died really quickly.   
  
She didn’t mourn over it though, maybe she’d find a charger soon, and it’s not like anyone would call her…   
  
...She had to admit it got a bit lonely.   
  
\---   
  
Seventh month. Life was quite… Same.   
  
Walking or watching something on TV didn’t help her. Her classmates annoyed her, even when she was trying to approach somebody, people didn’t really pay attention.   
  
Seeing people get good stuff made her more and more upset. She didn’t like to be home, but she didn’t know if she preferred school or not… Maybe she should’ve done something more when she first met her classmates, or not…   
  
One thing for sure, she will try to change this.   
  
...Sooner, or later.


	10. Endurance / II - "When I was sixteen, I was the poison."

Second month of the sixteenth year.  
  
Her birthday passed by… She was alone, bitter and annoyed.  
  
Second month is still winter. Winter was still really cold.  
  
Yet, nobody knew of her birthday. Nobody cared to know.  
  
...She would lie to herself a lot. She knew it was actually her fault. And it hurt to know it.  
  
...But it’s so much easier to blame somebody else, even if it isn’t fair.  
  
She knew that Kris wasn’t no longer by his brother. His brother went somewhere else to college, she heard. She felt bad about Kris, since he also had his parents divorced last year… It looked like life got its sadism out on him.  
  
She didn’t like to admit it, but she felt some… Sadistic satisfaction in seeing Kris being down. She really didn’t like to admit it, she loathed admitting it but she had to be honest with herself… She liked seeing Kris not having it good.  
  
She knew it was wrong for her to like seeing him like this, yet again… She liked to blame him for being sad last year too.  
  
...She wondered if she could stop feeling like this. She really wanted to and yet she knew nobody would care about her wanting it. Even the doormat Noelle, who seemed to be so obsessed with her, would eep if she ever wanted to come to her direction. It annoyed her so much.  
  
...So fucking much.

\---  
  
Went by two more months… She became more of a… Delinquent.  
  
She was acting much more irrational, she was also hungrier. Much, much hungrier.  
  
Not only for food, but for emotions too. She didn’t like seeing everybody being the same, so she became someone she hated to be… But, even if she hated it, she couldn’t stop it. She enjoyed being… Somewhat feared.  
  
She did enjoy seeing people eep when she would lock a locker really harshly, or if she would say something mean, or roar at somebody.  
  
Everyone was afraid of her… Besides one person.  
  
Besides Kris.  
  
\---  
  
A month more, and she acted meaner. She was getting physical, but not with many people. Usually, it was either Berdly or Kris, with Kris taking up more rounds.  
  
Tripping, berating, calling him foul names like “bleeder” or “buried” or “orphan”, at times even slapping, and the worst - stealing his lunch.  
  
Admittedly, Susie felt a lot of satisfaction when she would take a number on Kris but, when she returned home… She felt sick.  
  
Sick with herself. She didn’t like to be a bully, let alone, one who not only threatens but also acts. And, she remembered how annoying it was for her to deal with bullies.  
  
But, there was a problem which made her even more sickened by her own behaviour.  
  
...Kris never fought back. Never tried to, either.  
  
When Susie would be done, Kris could cry, sob, hold himself, sit ashamed… Sometimes, a classmate would approach him, to comfort him, sometimes, somebody would even give him a shoulder to cry on.  
  
...It made her feel both, very disgusted at herself and quite proud of herself. Kris, if she thought about it, of course, never deserved anything he got.  
  
But, she didn’t care. She liked seeing him in pain… Yet, she also hated it.  
  
She was also much more annoyed when Kris did absolutely nothing to help himself. At times he would just not go to school for a day or two, and his mother was seemingly even okay with that…  
  
Susie knew, nobody would dare talk shit on her… Yet, she also knew that, she could be expelled, if somebody would find out, or if she wouldn’t study good enough.  
  
...And that was the exact problem. She lost complete interest in studying, and it wasn’t even the teachers’ fault. She even knew that Alphys was afraid of her, really afraid… She didn’t know why, it’s not like Alphys saw anything and it’s not like anyone would tell on her to Alphys.  
  
Alphys was even more of a doormat than Noelle could ever be.  
  
Yet… Susie wondered, how long would she keep doing it?  
  
Being a bully stang. Stang a lot. She wanted to change but… She didn’t know if she would be.  
  
With her being like this, she knew she wasn’t liked by people… She knew she wasn’t, and she wouldn’t be unless she ever changed.  
  
...Would she ever change?

\---  
  
Another month, she acted meaner still. Acted so much meaner, she made Kris run away from school.  
  
She just… Broke him. But, instead of satisfaction, she felt guilt.  
  
She went too far, went too far saying stuff that she felt about herself, rephrasing it for Kris. Thrashed him, dropped him, berated him, even ripped a notebook, that apparently contained drawings - which were really good, if she were to admit - and all that just made Kris… Run away, in tears, with a backpack.  
  
Susie thought to run off to catch him to maybe apologize for once, about her sick behaviour.  
  
...Yet, she knew, she knew damn well it wouldn’t change a damn thing.  
  
She knew that Kris would only be much more upset, maybe even terrified of seeing her outside school.  
  
Susie knew, what people might’ve thought about her. If she was so mean in school, could she kill them outside of school?  
  
Even the thought of killing or injuring somebody like that, made her stomach turn.  
  
…

The next few days from Kris being broken...

...

The next few days, she didn’t go to school. She just… Could not.  
  
Fuck, she couldn’t even eat normally. What she did, didn’t feel good at all. It felt… Felt terrible. So terrible she couldn’t normally eat, or sleep, or even be outside. She just watched television, and never enjoyed it.  
  
She was… Starting to become afraid of herself.  
  
…  
  
\---  
  
Next month, making it the eighth month, proved to be hard to get through.  
  
She couldn’t think straight anymore. When she was alone, she’d shake, shake because of how terrible she felt.  
  
She was even meaner in school, not just to Kris, but to anyone. She barely got through the third quarter of school… Yet, she kept going. She didn’t know why, she just kept.  
  
She started eating less often. Started sleeping more, and less. Her schedule diminished, oftentimes she was late to school, getting only a simple disapproving head motion from her teachers.  
  
...She found it hard to take life anymore. She didn’t know what would happen next, and she felt terrible.  
  
...At times she really felt like when she was younger.  
  
It’d be better if she wouldn’t exist.  
  
…  
  
…  
  
At times…  
  
...Sometimes…  
  
She even…  
  
Considered just… Stabbing herself.  
  
Making her bleed with white dust. All over the apartment.  
  
…  
  
She really did consider it. Considered dropping herself off the cliff somewhere…  
  
Escaping… Starving…  
  
…  
  
Anything that would make her disappear…  
  
Maybe she’d… Ask somebody to put her out of her misery.  
  
...But, she fucked up big time, right? Nobody wanted her around…  
  
…  
  
She just… Couldn’t.  
  
At times she knew that Muffet looked at her, with great pity, she knew that the poor spider felt bad about Susie.  
  
...She didn’t want people to feel bad about her.  
  
She didn’t… Deserve pity.  
  
…  
  
…  
  
…  
  
It’s like… Her mother was right about Susie.  
  
...She deserved this.  
  
…  
  
Deserved… Pain.  
  
…

\---

The same month, nearing the end of it… She walked… Somewhere.  
  
She walked into the forest, and seeing a bench… A bench that she was frequenting more and more…  
  
She sat on it, and… Cried.  
  
  
  
Cried the tears of a dragon, who couldn’t deal with it.  
  
...Who hated, loathed, despised the way she lives.  
  
Who didn’t want to bring no more harm to people… But she knows, that she deserved it.  
  
Cried… Again, and again… A sob after the other, a tear falling one by one… Her body shaking…  
  
She was crying it to her hand… To her dumb… Powerful hand...  
  
…  
  
Just sobbing and crying…  
  
Sobbing and… Crying...  
  
\---  
  
Tenth month. She wasn’t a bully… Or well, she was, she was pushing everyone away from her, and keeping herself scary.  
  
...But she wasn’t being purposefully malicious anymore. She didn’t want people to hurt…  
  
...She knew she fucked up. Fucked everything up. She was probably going to be expelled.  
  
She fucked up. She fucked up.  
  
Fucked up. Fucked up. Fucked up!  
  
...God dammit, how she... Despised herself!..  
  
...Waking up, minutes later than usual, not bothering to wash her face, or brush her teeth, neither groom her hair.  
  
She just… Went out of the house. Waving hello to Muffet, before storming off the house.  
  
She slowly made her way towards school. Saw that Undyne was blocking some poor man’s car… I think she said something about regulating traffic.  
  
...What would she even do at school today? Come late, be mean, and leave?  
  
Sounded like any usual day.  
  
Just she had to watch out, and not to think of terrible things again… She didn’t want to cloud her life again. She didn’t…  
  
...She just wanted to…  
  
...It didn’t matter.  
  
…  
  
Going through the school hall, she found out she was late. Unsurprising, for an idiot that she is.  
  
…  
  
Coming in, opening the door far too strongly, finding out that Alphys said that she wasn’t late, that there was a group project and she was with a person she broke too much, and there was no chalk, she was sent off to find some.  
  
...Truth is, she just stole some chalk from Alphys. She didn’t want to eat normal food. Didn’t think it was something she deserved.  
  
And chalk tastes awful… It fit her. Her character. Being awful.  
  
How desperately she wanted things to be different. Be different…  
  
...At least somewhat…  
  
Chomping the piece of chalk, gagging up a bit thanks to its dryness, she turned around to see…  
  
Kris. Who stood there, looking at Susie, tensed up and probably afraid.  
  
...She didn’t know if he really was afraid or not. It felt like he was… At least, she could feel something like that. Even if Kris wasn’t exactly… Emotional, for these past couple of months.  
  
She could somewhat… Understand how he would feel.  
  
And, if Kris really was… Afraid, did she even need to bother him right now? Did she need to go out of her mind to do something?  
  
...If Kris were to tell on her…  
  
Which likely wouldn’t have ever happened…  
  
...He still could… Mysterious humans… Quiet people…  
  
And she hated silence… Made her feel too lonely.  
  
She… Couldn’t be fine. She… Taunted Kris.

Thrashed him against the locker, threw a snark that he’s alive only because of his mother - which, of course, was another lie to herself, out of jealousy - and referred to him as a freak.  
  
They came to the closet which was… Weird. It opened on itself, and it was really dark. They both went in, the door closed and…  
  
She thought she would die. While surprised… She didn’t know if she really wanted to die… She didn’t want to live through the life, sure but… Her falling made her afraid.  
  
...Afraid for her life.  
  
...Maybe… She didn’t want to die. Maybe she had to live through the suffering…  
  
It’s what she deserved, anyway.  
  
\---  
  
Waking up, she found that her skin tone changed. It was closer to being somewhat reddish, than being blue. She also found that… She had… Different clothes. Like she was some sort of a barbarian.  
  
...What was going on? She looked around…  
  
...Is this afterlife? Did she actually die?  
  
…  
  
She walked… Somewhere. She didn’t know if Kris made it here… She hoped he didn’t, after all, he wasn’t someone she could call a bad child.  
  
If this was hell, then she was the only one who really should be here.  
  
Not Kris, fuck no…  
  
She walked farther and… It got ominous. Weird eyes on the walls, and… Some sort of dusty creatures… Which, she could hide behind. She didn’t want to touch them, they seemed like they were sleeping.  
  
Looking where she came from, she saw somebody approaching… Somebody who was… Blue?  
  
They approached fast… Susie was a bit afraid, and she hid behind the dusty monsters, and the person popped the dusty monsters fast, making Susie shriek and run behind other monsters before… She was finally found out.

And… That blue person was Kris.  
  
...That’s right. Kris. He was blue and looked like a knight.  
  
...This wasn’t something she could’ve expected. She berated him for being scary, when she was the one who was afraid, and just dashed off, trying to get away from Kris, under the pretext of him being too fast.  
  
Yet, when she noticed something above, she stopped, trying to look what it was. Kris was behind her and…  
  
She suddenly noticed something that looked like spades, fly in their direction.  
  
She ran for her life, dodging everything she could’ve, yet… Some spades stuck into her flesh, making her cough up a little bit.  
  
She looked at Kris, who wasn’t doing much better… In fact, not at all. Sure, his armor would protect him but… He was about 1.5 heads shorter than Susie. And she wasn’t about to abandon Kris, at this weird moment. If they were stuck together, she could at least somewhat help him.  
  
She wanted to do good… To try to.  
  
Quickly turned towards Kris, she took him with one arm, holding him pressed to her side. Kris was in disbelief, he didn’t know what was going on, and he did hurt thanks to those spades but Susie was… Helping him.  
  
Susie then saw a dead end, but the dead end had a slide, so she quickly ran and jumped below, the surface wasn’t that soft, so she hurt her legs a little, but kept through it…  
  
When she finally landed, she looked around… No more spades. There was nothing attacking them. With a sigh, she put Kris on the ground.  
  
“Susie..?” - Kris asked, confused and somewhat speechless.  
  
“...Come on.” - Came the response.  
  
Kris didn’t pry her for more, and just followed her behind. Susie, inside, thanked him for that.

She seems like he appreciated the gesture, even if it's uncharacteristic for her.

She didn't know if it was the right thing for her to do, but as long as he wasn't hurt as much as he could've been, she thought it was better.

Which, in her eyes, made much more sense.  
  
“Where the hell are we, even? There is a castle, I see that much but where are we? Why did we get attacked right after we come here?” - Susie said, more to herself than anyone else. - “Ugh… Maybe I… Deserve this.”  
  
Kris didn’t know what to say, so he kept silent. He knew that Susie was far from being kind to him but if she saved his life… Maybe she… Wasn’t being mean in school out of malice.

What was that reason..? Kris took a mental note to try and stick by her, even after they got out of here. Maybe he'll make a friend. Maybe he, just this once, would have someone else to lean on, as often as he could've...

“Come on. We gotta find someone to talk to… Or something. To get an idea where we are at.” - Susie murmured, looking at Kris with a saddened expression.  
  
“...Okay.” - Kris replied.  
  
They went up to the castle, and going through the open door, they found a person in a weird cloak.  
  
They told about a prophecy, which to Susie, didn’t seem real. Yet, it would explain where they are… But not how they got there.  
  
Before the person could reply to their questions, however, they were interrupted by the spade-wielding kid.  
  
...He looked young, yet, he probably was the one who hurt them. Susie didn’t want to hear the kid… But, something told her to stop being rash.  
  
Something told her to just make reason and defend.  
  
So, she did. Dodging the kid’s - Lancer’s - attacks, alongside with Kris, they found out that Lancer’s bike would run out of fuel.  
  
He left them alone, and while Kris and Susie were confused, they hurriedly came over to the mysterious figure, who was still laying from the impact of Lancer’s bike.  
  
Kris, apparently, knew some medical practice, as he immediately tried to do CPR. Which did wake the mysterious figure up, and with coughs, they thanked them both, and upon realizing the cloak wasn’t something that helped to make them sound well, they took it off.  
  
...He called himself Ralsei, and he looked like some sort of a monster, who somewhat resembled a goat by facial features but Susie didn’t know if he was or wasn’t, yet, he seemed friendly and eager to help them get out, and that was all that mattered.  
  
Ralsei led them out, expressing horror as they approached an open door, which he called ‘The Great Door’, which apparently shouldn’t have been opened.  
  
Going to the other side of the door, they found a dummy, which looked like Ralsei. Ralsei taught them about how fighting works, which they both understood easily, and made it clear, they’d try their best not to hurt anyone.  
  
When they walked farther, they found a baker, who had a really nice cake. Susie wanted to try it but decided not to. Kris, asked if he could get a slice, offering money he apparently had.  
  
The baker said that he could, and served him a slice on a plate, after he took the offered money.  
  
“Take it.” - He said, holding out the slice to Susie.  
  
Herself, Susie didn’t know what to do, or where the sudden kindness came from. She made this guy’s life hell, and here he is, offering her a slice of a nice cake, just because she did something she should’ve always done.

Yet… She couldn't help but feel good because of it. She felt like she didn't have to hide her emotions as much, felt like she could be appreciated for what she really was, rather than what she made herself be.

...She'd do more today, more to justify the cake just being offered.

But, she wouldn't take the cake.  
  
“W-what? No dude, eat it.” - Susie would say, with her voice almost breaking in the process.  
  
“Susie, I got it for you, come on. You pretty much saved my life today, just take it.” - Kris said, insisting on her taking the slice, with also a specific tone of voice.

She was surprised at the kindness she was getting, she didn't know if she truly deserved it, or if Kris was just being a good person… But, whatever it was, it left her surprised.

She still didn't want to take the cake but now, she also didn't want to refuse taking it, seeing it as impolite.  
  
“Dude, come on…” - The dragon only let out, looking on the ground beneath her, folding her arms together.  
  
Ralsei looked at Kris and Susie, and with a smile, he saw that Kris really wanted to give her the cake, which he almost squealed about. Needless to say, he approved the gesture.  
  
Kris, with a short lived sigh, pressed on: - “No, you come on. Just take it, please?”

Susie decided to give in. Kris had quite the determination, which she knew was mostly a human thing, out of what little she knew about their history, she gave in.  
  
“...Fine.” - Susie said, taking the slice, and eating it… In one big chomp.

The cake tasted amazingly, it's like it was made by her grandma…

It brought tears to her eyes, and she turned away from her teammates, rubbing her eyes a bit, so there would be no tears for them to look at.

“How was it?” - Ralsei couldn’t help but ask. He was curious. The cake seemed nice enough, let alone make her look away.  
  
“It was really… Really nice. Thank you… Kris.” - Came the voice from the sad dragon, her almost sobhing.  
  
“You’re welcome…” - Kris could only say, seeing her like this, made him somewhat happy inside.

He didn't doubt there was much more to the girl than met his eye.  
  
And she couldn’t just explode in emotion here and now. They had other things to worry about.  
  
So, they kept walking.

…

She wouldn't admit it but… She liked being a good gal for once in that long.

She liked seeing smiles on their faces.

...

Upon the encounter of their first enemy, they just were nice to him, which made him no longer interested in fighting.

Susie thought that… If people would be nicer to her, would she be doing better in… Everything?

And maybe she should have also been like this to everyone… She should've been nice to people. Nice to them for a while… Wouldn't be as disappointing for herself, were she nicer to people...

When they approached Lancer for the second time, they asked him if he knew what he was doing. None of them were mean to the kid, which made Lancer feel a little odd, since he was sort of used to being dismissed by people, yet, these clowns asked him if he knew what he was doing, like they actually cared about him. So, he just let them go, for now at least and said that he’ll think of the reason, and will come back to them. With a shrug, the trio went further, dealing with more enemies easily, being nice to them.  
  
Susie found that being nice, really wasn’t that hard. In fact, it was easy. Which made her even more embarrassed at having the thick skull of a moron. It made made her remember how nice she was to people. She missed this… Feeling of… Recognition.  
  
“You’re doing good, Susie.” - Ralsei said. Like he could read her mind. 

She felt… Wanted. She felt like… People wanted her around.  
  
If Susie were to admit, she was also feeling odd about compliments. She felt like she didn’t deserve them… Yet, she wanted to get them, wanted to make some of them herself.

...Wanted to be liked.  
  
“Yes. Susie, you’re doing good.” - Kris said, agreeing with Ralsei and clapped on Susie’s shoulder.  
  
“Guys… Um… Thank you. But it’s not about me here, okay? Let’s just move f-forward.” - The dragon replied, feeling odd.

She knew that she could try harder now. Try harder to be liked.

And she would, even if it would feel odd.  
  
\---  
  
Some time later, they managed to recruit Lancer to their trio. With lancer on board, all the enemies that would try to attack them, ceased all attempts.

Her finding out more about Lancer, made her realize that she isn't the only one with problems in this world. Lancer was funny, Lancer was happy, despite him having problems, like his tyrannical father.  
  
Susie found that… She could relate to Lancer in a certain way. A tyrannical family member, that you try hard to satisfy, yet it never works.

She didn't know how to respond to his cheery attitude, even when he talked about something sad. It made her speechless.  
  
Although, she figured she wasn't the only one who was surprised by this. Kris alongside with Ralsei were silent.  
  
...Susie didn’t want to say anything, so she just kept the awkward silence, until Lancer cracked a joke, making everyone chuckle.

She… Wanted it to last. She also felt terrible, due to her being a tyrant like her own mother...  
  
…  
  
Kris noticed that Susie felt down. He decided to ask her, what was going on with her. - “Hey, Susie… Is something on your mind? You seem… Down.”  
  
Did he really care for it? Did they all care about her?

Maybe she really should… Talk about it. Maybe she shouldn't be alone. Should make friends...  
  
“...Yeah. I just... No. No, I can’t. Maybe some other time, I’ll tell you.” - She said, deciding that it wasn’t the time.  
  
Kris, again, put his hand at Susie’s shoulder, and murmured gently: - “...Okay, whenever you feel ready, alright?”  
  
“...Sure.” - She just said.

\---

On the way to the castle, they didn't forget to have fun. They went to various places that they goofed around at, they laid down at one point, they played catch, hide and seek…

She found that all these games they played, made her realize how desperately she needed someone.

...Maybe now, she found them. Maybe now, she'd finally have some great friends.

Maybe now… Her long-forgotten goal could finally be reached.

They ate burgers, sandwiches, took each other's gear, laughing when one didn't know how to properly wield the item. They found that Ralsei's hat was making people dark, which felt cool and really interesting, as well as it revealed how Ralsei really looked.

A white goat, with green eyes, with red hair and red curved horns… Susie was surprised, Kris looked odd when he saw them, and Lancer just expressed awe at the cute goat.

Needless to say, they made the goat flattered, and comfortable.

On their journey forward, they all wore the hat, exchanging it every now and then.

They had a lot of fun. A lot of fun Susie was glad to have.

She promised there and then, that she'd be a nicer person from now on.

She wanted to be good. No longer would she be a bully.

\---  
  
Not too long after that goofing around, they came to the King’s castle. She, Kris, Ralsei, were thrown into jail.

Susie didn’t know if they were betrayed by Lancer or not, since the kid was actually quite sincere with them. He didn’t want them to hurt or anything, which made Susie think, he had a plan.  
  
All the salsa, cookies they at one point made, some fun, guidance… Lancer didn’t feel like somebody who’d betray you.  
  
The kid is young, that’s for sure but the kid isn’t dumb. Naive? Yes. Dumb? Not at all.  
  
Since she was stronger than Kris and Ralsei, she was locked in a different cell. She bent the steel bars with her hands, even if it proved sort of tough.  
  
She did it. She didn’t hurt the guard who was there either, she just took his weapon away, and threw it into the trash can, asking him to cool down. The guard, after hearing such intriguing words to him, took it literally, and went somewhere else.  
  
Susie just shrugged, and went away, seeing a panel… A panel with… Ah, a puzzle.  
  
...There’s literally a solution above it.  
  
She solved it, not finding it any difficult. The door that opened though, led to Lancer, not to her crew. They called themselves “The Cool Crew”, actually.  
  
And, her suspicions were proved right. Lancer was indeed, with a plan. A plan to keep Lightners here forever, so they wouldn’t be killed by the king.  
  
Susie told Lancer to not reason with the King, yet he didn’t listen, and ran to talk to him. Susie wanted to stop him by force but realized, it’s not something that would happen.  
  
So, she went above, to find her crew members.  
  
Kris, Ralsei, were surprised to see Susie standing there, bending the bars and getting them out.  
  
Admittedly, Kris was really impressed by this show-off of strength. Yet, remained silent.  
  
Ralsei thanked her, so did Kris, and they went ahead, exploring the castle.  
  
They went to an elevator, leading them somewhere else… They didn’t know where.  
  
A floor, sure, but what was that floor?  
  
They’d find out eventually.  
  
Susie… Wanted to talk with them. - “Alright… You guys, um, thank you.”  
  
“What for?” - Ralsei asked.  
  
“You know, for… Allowing me to be your crew member.” - She clarified.  
  
“Ah, come now, Susie. You’re a great member! You were patient and you were kind. That’s what a hero is!” - Ralsei beamed at her.  
  
“No, really… Thank you.” - She said again, looking away from both of them.  
  
“No need to thank us.” - Kris said, coming close to Susie, and giving her a hug, prompting Susie to express her surprise.  
  
…  
  
...Yet, it felt nice. She hugged Kris back, and when Ralsei joined in, she hugged them both, lifting them up in the air.  
  
“Thank you…” - She said for the final time.  
  
...The elevator arrived, she put them on the floor, and they all walked out.

\---

They solved the easiest puzzles one could ever imagine, bought some stuff, took some stuff, dodged some stuff, found some stuff…  
  
And made their way to the king.  
  
The king, who threatened them all by being ready to drop Lancer to his death. Told them all to kneel, readied an attack to get them all at once…  
  
Yet, Lancer, betrayed his father, stabbed him in his back, and ran away.  
  
And, the gang, readied up to fight.  
  
…  
  
The king was strong, but the three of them were stronger. They dodged King’s attacks, struck him to weaken him, tried to change his foul mind into something else…  
  
And, when the king was finally tired, he dropped, seemingly with his heart being faulty.  
  
...Ralsei, went ahead, and healed the king.

...The king, used it to betray them all. Charging tens of spades at Ralsei, Susie, Kris…  
  
Yet, when Susie got up, ready to drop-kick the bastard, the king penetrated her torso with his sharp stomach-tail, making the dragon scream in pain.  
  
Kris, upon seeing it, charged at the king with the sword and the shield, blocking off the spades, and slicing off the tail of the king, making him go back in agony. He told Ralsei to pacify the king, and Ralsei with the rush of adrenaline, coming from the leader’s order, did as said, which made the king fall asleep, bleeding dust from the place where his tail was sliced off.  
  
Kris hurried Ralsei over to Susie, telling him to heal her, which the prince did… But, the magic didn’t heal it all.  
  
...Ralsei was tired, he himself, didn’t feel good…  
  
Yet, Kris had two dark burgers, one of which he force-fed to Susie, and the other he gave to Ralsei.  
  
…  
  
Then, the grumbling came. Lancer came with a lot of his subjects, and upon seeing what happened, immediately commanded the subjects to take the king away, and asked a couple of Hathies, to heal all of them, which they did.  
  
...Susie still, however, wasn’t healed that well. Kris took off his cloak, and wrapped it around her wound, like a bandage would. He took her in his arms, somehow being able to carry her, surprising the prince, the new king, and himself.  
  
He asked if Ralsei could give everyone a goodbye, which the Prince affirmed to, and Kris went in the direction of the fountain, holding Susie in his hands.

\---

When Kris carried her out, they appeared somewhere… Dark.  
  
He placed Susie on the surface he had yet to figure out what it was, and tried to search for any sort of a light switch. Having found it, he found out that they appeared in an abandoned classroom.  
  
When he looked at Susie, he found that her wound wasn’t bandaged by anything, and that it was still open. He quickly dashed out of the classroom, and headed to the infirmary, which was open for students.  
  
He took a bandage roll out of the first aid kit alongside with some antiseptic and a cotton pad, and hurried back to Susie.  
  
Thankfully, the wound wasn’t anything that went through, Kris took her jacket off, and lifted up her tank top just enough, for the stomach wound to not be closed. He dabbled some antiseptic to a cotton pad, applying it to the wound. He heard Susie hiss over the action, which meant that it worked, even if it hurt her. He continued to dabble and clean the wound, not going deep into the wound. When he cleaned it, he took the bandage roll, and applied it to the wound, circling it around her chest, lifting her up at times, when he was done, he bit off the remaining bandage, so that it would stay.  
  
Upon being done, he lifted her clothes back, and dressed her with the same jacket, zipping it.  
  
Then… He just sat there. Quietly, wrapping his arms around his legs .  
  
...Until his phone started ringing.  
  
...Of course, his mother.  
  
“Hello.” - He said, his voice a bit raspier than usual.  
  
“Kris!.. Thank Angel you’re alright!.. Where are you!? Why couldn’t I call you!? Where were you in school!? I thought to call the police..! You had me worried!” - His mother said over the phone, with a voice that was both relieved and worried.  
  
“Mom… I um… Was spending time with a friend. Promise. I need some more time, I promise I won’t be long.” - He said, trying his best to reassure his mother. He couldn’t leave Susie behind like this. Not when she saved his life, and not when she was wounded.  
  
“A friend? Who are they?” - Toriel asked, her voice changed to a more curious of a tone.  
  
“Uh. Susie.” - The boy bluntly said.  
  
“Susie?” - Toriel said, with voice that seemed like disbelief.  
  
“Yes. I’m helping her.” - Kris said, with his best reassuring tone he could muster.  
  
“...She isn’t persuading you into doing anything, is she?” - Toriel said, after a bit of a pause.  
  
“No. She isn’t.” - Kris replied, almost immediately.  
  
Toriel sighed, yet, she trusted Kris. - “...Well, I trust you, Kris. Please, do come home sooner than later, alright?”  
  
“Promise. I’ll see you soon... ish.” - The child said, hanging up the phone.  
  
Kris sighed, and looked at the fainted dragon. He didn’t know much about her, nor where she lived, nor anything else.  
  
Bringing her to the police wouldn’t be a good decision, he knew that for a fact. He waited for Susie to wake up…  
  
...Though, she should wake up sooner, as such, Kris shook her, but did so gently.  
  
“Mmhh… Nnhh?” - Came the noises from a dragon.  
  
Kris said, in a caring, soothing tone: - “Susie, get up… Come on, we need to go.”  
  
“Uh?.. Kris?” - Susie said, slightly opening her yellow eyes.  
  
“Yes. Wake up.” - Kris said, smiling slightly at the dragon.  
  
“Jeez man… Was it a dream?” - She said, moving her hand to her forehead.  
  
Kris shook his head, and pointed at the closed wound. - “No… Look at your chest.”  
  
“Wh-... Holy fu- fudge!..” - Susie said, surprised to see the wound. Her eyes widened, but halted in seconds. - “I suppose it was real, huh?.. Is this your work?” - She said, pointing at the bandaging she felt.  
  
“...Yeah, did as best as I could.” - The human said, with a heavy sigh.  
  
“Thanks… Um… Uugh… Hard to move my chest now, fuc--f-f-fuhdge.” - The injured dragon grunted, dropping to her back as soon as she tried to get up.  
  
“Come on. Let me help you up.” - Kris said, lending her his hand.  
  
Susie took his hand, and with a series of grunts, got up. She said, with some wheezing: - “Heh. Guess we’re even now?”  
  
“What do you mean?” - Kris asked her, twisting his head to the side.  
  
“I saved your life, you saved mine. Heh...” - Susie stated, with a humourless laugh that came after.  
  
Kris nodded, but clarified: - “Yeah, though none of those were favours. Come on, let’s get you home.”  
  
“You’ll really stick by me?” - Susie said in disbelief.

Kris looked at her, coughed up to clear his throat, and stated: “Yes. You’re hurt. I don’t want to leave you alone.”  
  
“Kris you don--… Ugh, whatever. Yeah, let’s go.” - She said, defeated.  
  
She had a bit of trouble walking, she had to bend her chest a little bit to walk, and she couldn’t really do it.  
  
Kris, upon seeing it, wrapped his arm around her back, reaching her right shoulder with his hand, straightening her pose. Susie was a bit flushed, since this was really physical for her, but just thanked him.  
  
“So… Where to?” - He asked.  
  
“You know the big house made of bricks? I live there.” - She replied, pointing in a direction of where he would need to go.  
  
“Alright.” - He confirmed, and they started walking.  
  
…  
  
A bit of silence after, Susie had a question.  
  
“Kris. Why are you so nice to me?” - She asked, her voice blunt.  
  
He looked at her, his expression seeming like he was surprised. - “...Susie. You saved my darn life today.”  
  
Susie sighed upon hearing that, and with a grunt, she spoke: - “Yes, maybe I did, but aren’t you afraid of… Me?”  
  
Kris, after a few seconds of silence, spoke: - “...Honestly speaking, I am. I am a bit afraid, but I saw you today. You helped us, stood by with us, and wasn’t afraid to protect us, even if it was you risking your life.”  
  
“...” - Silence overtook Susie.  
  
“Come on. Even if you made mistakes, hearing and seeing you there, made me think… I’m sure you had your reasons to… Act that way.” - He said, with a small smile, directed at Susie.  
  
“...Kris, god dammit. You’re… You’re smart.” - Was all that came out of the dragon’s mouth, her voice cracking a little bit.  
  
She felt her tail twirl a little bit.  
  
“No, I’m just observant.” - Was all that the boy said.  
  
“Call it whatever you want… But, yes… You are right, but… I don’t want to talk about it now.” - She said, looking away from him.  
  
“I understand. Whenever you feel comfortable, huh?” - He stated, with a bit of a chuckle afterwards.

  
“...Yeah.” - She said, with a genuine smile.  
  
…  
  
They came there. Susie opened the door with her keys, and Kris helped her step in. Muffet, upon seeing the two youths, walked out of her place, coming close to them.  
  
“What happened to her?” - Muffet said, in a voice that sounded overly dramatic.  
  
“It’s a story nobody will believe. Long story short, she got a stab wound, and I bandaged it as well as I could’ve. Helped her get home too.” - Kris said, holding Susie, who just observed.  
  
“Aww, Krissy, you aren’t as stoic as you seem, hu-hu-hu!~ Well, alright, unzip her jacket, allow me to apply some magic. I’m a good healer~” - She said, readying all of her six hands together.  
  
The human obliged, unzipping the jacket, making Susie grunt. The spider, made a large green aura come out of her hands, which made Susie just breathe out in relief.  
  
“That should do it… Well, if you don’t mind, Kris, can you stay with her for a little bit? I have to be on my spot.”  
  
“Yeah, don’t worry about it, Mrs… M-Muffet.”  
  
“Atta boy!~ Well, alright, I’ll make some cookies, you guys look like you need them~”  
  
“Thank you.” - Kris said, with a smile.  
  
“Thanks… Muffet…” - Susie said, sort of in a trance.  
  
“Umm…” - Kris reacted.  
  
“Aw, Kris, it’s a side effect of such strong healing magic~ She’ll be alright, if a little slow.” - The spider said, smiling at the two youths.  
  
“I see…” - Kris said, a bit amused by the information.  
  
Muffet tsk’d at Kris, and before going back to her spot, she said: - “Keep her company!~ Second floor, third door on the right.”  
  
“I will.” - The human said, as he started moving to the second floor.

They slowly got up the stairs, Susie was a bit pained by climbing upwards. Kris did what he could to keep her from bending her chest.

"Easy now." - He said, carefully moving at her place.

"Trying…" - Was all she said.

As they finally got to the second floor, they came to the door, and Kris reached out his hand, to which Susie gave her keys too.

Kris unlocked the door, and opened it in, stepping in with Susie. He helped Susie to come to the small couch there was, on which he carefully helped her sit on.

As he did it, he came back to the door, so he could close it. As he did, he came back to Susie, with her now laying on the couch, breathing.

"Maybe I should call an ambulance?" - Kris said, worried over Susie.

"No, no. I'll be fine. In the bathroom cabinet, there are some painkillers. Get me a pill… Please." - The dragon said, smiling at Kris as she did.

"Will do. Do you need water?" - The boy said, eyeing the bathroom.

Susie smirked at that, and said: - "I'm not a wuss, ha-ha--oww…" - Regretting her choice of laughing.

"You're not, but it's a correct way to take pills." - He said, going out to the bathroom, to get the pills.

As he did, he went to the kitchen, taking a cup and filling it with water. When he was done, he came to Susie, giving her a cup of water first.

"Guess you're forcing me to drink, huh?.. Fine." - She said, taking the cup in her hands.

"Don't be stubborn, alright? It'll be good for you, staying hydrated, I mean." - The human said, giving her a pill in the other hand.

"Fine, fine." - The dragon took the pill, and drank it up with water. She gave the empty cup to Kris, who put it on the table. He went to the kitchen, and took the chair with him, he came back to the living room, setting a chair, and sitting on it.

"Huh. Guess you were serious about keeping me company. Would your mom not be worried?" - She said, a frown forming on her mouth.

Kris put a finger to his chin in thought… Before saying: - "When I'd explain it to her, no, she would probably thank me, and you."

"Me..?" - The dragon said, confused.

"Yeah. For being my… Friend." - Kris said, grabbing his right arm with his left hand, and shyly smiling at Susie.

With tense breathing, Susie looked at Kris, with a surprised expression.

"You see me as a friend?.." - She then said.

Kris sighed. Then, he stated: - "Again, you saved my life and… Showed your true colours. You were caring today, very caring. I don't think I would've made it if I were alone."

"Well… I'm glad you're my friend then, man." - She said, a smile or hers getting bigger.

Some time after that was said, a ring to the door was heard. Kris motioned for Susie to keep calm on the couch.

He stood up and went to the door, unlocking and opening it.

He saw Muffet there, standing with a tray full of various cookies, chocolate chip, sand cookies, cookies with cream… Roughly, it was about 18 cookies on the tray, all shaped like spiders.

"Here, got some cookies for you two~" - The spider lady said, giving Kris a tray with the cookies.

"Thank you very much." - Kris said, taking the tray and nodding to the lady.

"If you want, I'll call your mom so she's know where you are!" - The spider lady said, smiling and winking at Kris.

He looked at her, and smiled. - "I'd like that… Thank you."

"Alright~ Have fun, alright?" - She said, turning back and walking away.

"Alright." - He said, closing the door.

He locked the door, and went back to Susie. As he came into the room, he placed the tray onto the table, and set on the chair.

"Heh… Muffet is too sweet." - She said, trying to take a cookie. Kris motioned her to stay like she was, and threw her a cookie - which she easily caught - and then taking another for himself.

"Yeah, I can see that." - he said, before biting into a cookie.  
  
Besides sounds of crunchy cookies being chewed on, nothing really happened...  
  
Susie, realized that she had a guest at her house, understood that she needed to do something…  
  
She started, with long breaths being somewhat painful, offering something to do, while guessing herself more than once. - “Yeah… You know, I don’t quite know… Hhheh… What we’ll do here. My house isn’t that big, I mean, I do have a TV but I don’t know if something cool should air today.”  
  
“Come on. We can just talk.” - Kris said, tossing her another cookie, and taking another one for himself.  
  
“About?” - She said, mouth stuffed with the cookie.  
  
“Well… Us?” - He said, his hands thrown in the air, as if it was obvious.  
  
When heard him, she was afraid if she could’ve gotten the wrong idea… - “What do you mean?”  
  
“What do you think? We don’t know much about each other, and we’re the most mysterious people in the class, eh?” - He said, like there was no second meaning to it.  
  
Susie just took the information, not knowing what she quite felt about it. After a few seconds of thinking, she finally thought about it and… - “Hhhuh… That’s true… Well, I’m bad at… Asking stuff, so how about you ask stuff, and we both reply?” - Was what she said.  
  
“I don’t mind it… Alright, um… What do you do for fun?” - Kris asked, setting the first question off into the sky.  
  
After seconds of thoughtful silence, she spoke: - “Not really anything anymore, back then when I was really mean, I would pick on people angrily, it made me feel strong, real strong… Though, even earlier than that, I liked to walk around, watch TV, cook food…”

Kris nodded throughout, and started thinking himself on a response. 

  
When he got his thoughts in order, he spoke: - “Uh-huh. I, myself, don’t really have much fun. I just really try to exist… But, not to be a downer, I used to do pranks on people, when my brother was still around town… Then of course, since I was younger, I enjoyed playing games with him.”  
  
“What kind of pranks did you do?” - Susie asked, really curious about the fun side of Kris.  
  
“Ah, you name it. Scaring Noelle with supposed ‘blood’ which was just ketchup, creeping her out from under the bed… Yeah those were fun times.” - He said, smiling mischievously afterwards.  
  
“Alright… Next question.” - She said, catching another cookie.  
  
“Alright… This is like, a question only directed at you but… Do I remember you from somewhere else?” - Kris asked, serious for a minute, looking at the dragon expectantly.  
  
Susie didn’t think the time for admitting would come so quickly. Yet, she does remember Kris. She really does.  
  
“...If you mean the kindergarten that you’ve been to for like a week, then yes, I do.” - Was her response.  
  
Kris’ eyes would widen really hard, though, Susie wouldn’t see it. - “...Wow. I thought you wouldn’t remember. Now, I’m not mad or anything, but I wanted to know… Why did you ditch me?” - He asked, sounding a bit hurt, from the memory.  
  
“I… I can’t tell you about it right now… It’s hard to talk about.” - She said, looking away from the human.  
  
This set an awkward silence… Both teens thought about something.  
  
...Maybe they both went too far? Maybe...  
  
Kris’ words were stated, with a gentler voice. - “Hmm, I’m guessing there’s much more to it then. Sorry.”  
  
“No, no, It’s alright. Just… Ugh, yes. Complicated.” - Susie could only reply with.  
  
“...Well, alright. Umm… A question that is a bit hard to answer, would be… If you ever had a friend before.”  
  
“...Honestly, no, unless you mean yourself back then. I was always the outcast.” - She said. A bitter ‘tch’ came after, letting Kris know that she wasn’t quite happy with her answer.  
  
“Well, if it makes it any better… Same as me. You probably saw that people want to talk to me but… I just don’t feel comfortable around them. I’m just so different… The only friend to me, would be my brother, who I can’t even really call a friend of mine… There… Was, Noelle but we rarely talk now.” - Kris said, sharing his own answer on it.  
  
“Damn…” - She said, with a tone that seemed hurt.  
  
“Yeah. Don’t worry though.” - He said, sighing after. - “It’ll be okay… We’re friends.”  
  
Susie, without much silence to pass, replied: - “Yeah… We are.”  
  
“Heh. Two outcasted delinquents come together, huh?” - Kris said, laughing a little bit to himself. Susie caught the chuckle too, yet told him: - “Come on, you’re not a delinquent.”  
  
“I’m not about to not call myself a delinquent if you are one.” - Kris said, smiling at Susie.  
  
Susie had her lips curl, and looked away from Kris, saying: - “What’s this supporting?”  
  
“It’s just friendly supporting.” - He replied. - “The best kind of it.”  
  
“Gee, it’s okay. Alright, then… We both are not delinquents.” - She said, fist bumping Kris.  
  
Some awkward silence came, Kris tossed her another cookie, they both chomped it… And didn’t know what to ask next.  
  
Kris had a good question to ask, however: - “...How’s your stomach?”  
  
“The painkillers helped, don’t worry about it. I’m a strong dragon.” - She said, sounding really reassuring.  
  
“I believe you.” - He said, another smile forming. He didn’t know why he was smiling so often today.  
  
“You better!” - She said, forming a grin of her own.  
  
…  
  
Some time passed, they had some idle chat, about the project, which they both knew nothing about, and about the day tomorrow. Maybe they’d meet up then, and just walk for a bit… That is, if Susie felt any better.

She agreed. And so they did.


End file.
